I catch myself wanting to be ahead of this moment. A lot. Imagining myself in the future and tapping my feet thinking "why aren't I there yet?" is a frustrating experience. Looking objectively at this question "why aren't I there yet?" actually has a very simple answer. The Future isn't ready for me yet. Later isn't my business. Not yet. Impatience is a thief of time, peace and joy. In discovering the role impatience has been playing in my life, I am determined to befriend her. Call it stubborn, call it foolish, call it whatever you want to call it. I am determined to embrace impatience and create more patience. Why? I want peace!
Patience is something I am befriending. I will admit, somewhat begrudgingly. I want to embody patience, to be the example of trust for others to witness and be reminded that Life does in fact know what it is doing. Ultimately, I believe that everything is right on time. If I had been given certain things right when I wanted them, I'd have no idea how to receive, maintain or sustain them. I wash t ready for them yet! I want to believe in Life's timing and sometimes I have major doubts. The discomfort of feeling doubtful jostling and unnerving. The beliefs that accompany these feelings are equally grueling. Leaning into patience requires faith; Getting back to the facts is helpful: Now is all there is. Having a plan is wise. Putting in the work is necessary. Letting go helps me receive help. Nothing is guaranteed. I am right on time.
I spoke with a client today who was mirroring back exactly what I have been experiencing. A participant in Writing Into Reinvention, an eCourse guiding participants in cultivating a personal writing practice that launched last Summer, shared about his frustration that he doesn't have more pages written yet. My response: "Of course you don't! You've just begun." His desire to be at the end when the beginning has just commenced is something I relate to. A lot. Rushing the process robs me of the joy in growing. Growth can be glorious, when I allow the natural progression to happen. The more I rush and resist, the more pain I experience. Why judge where I am? I experience what I am prepared for.
Appreciating the process is not reinforced in our society as much as I would like. Moving faster, getting ahead, and looking successful are all stressors that take us out of cherishing what is happening right now. Being in the moment allows the future to be fulfilling. If I cannot be here now, when then comes, who is to say I will appreciate it at all?
Brene Brown had a lot of gems to offer in her musings on imperfection. The Gifts of Patience is a book I would like to read. Studies on mindfulness prove a great point: every system benefits from meditation, breath work and present moment awareness. Maybe that is all patience is... moment to moment patience. Learning to become more at peace with the process takes practice. One day at a time, I invite you to choose these things: to prioritize what matters to you and balance growth with gratitude. Until this book is published, or I write it (we teach what we most need to learn, right?!), I have some things to practice. Want to join me? Even if you are the most patient person you know, perhaps you have some quality that could use more honing. Use that to ponder these ideas.
- Befriend what does not come easily.
- Look for the gifts it has to offer you.
- Breathe into the moment and ask "how could I be more __________ right now?"
If you pause for just a moment and stay open to the answer, I guarantee it will come. It might be super simple, like "drink some water" or "call your mom." The answers might not make sense to you now. That's okay. Trust the process. Trust yourself. Your future self will thank you. Work hard. Rest well. Make friends with everything in you. Be patient. You are in progress and process.
How how patience benefited you?
What helps you make peace with what doesn't come easily to you?
How do you trust the process and stay present?
Leave me a message and let me know... who knows, it might be featured in a book someday (smile).
With Huge Heart,
Have you noticed yourself in moments when you're on the grow & everything is okay, or even smooth sailing and you're feeling elated, when fear or doubt creep in? The notorious "when is the other shoe going to drop?" syndrome shows up big time. I have had moments like this popping up at the most inopportune times, probably because I am in major growth mode and challenging core beliefs that have threatened to hold me back for a long time. It seems that resistance comes when I'm on the verge of another breakthrough. Can you relate?
It's like the crab bucket effect - when one crab is about to get over the rim into a whole new world of freedom, the other crabs grab at it and pull it back into familiar territory.
We all have an inner crab bucket full of pesky claws waiting to keep us put instead of allowing, or even encouraging, us to grow into the next phase. How does the crab bucket effect get turned on its side? Surely this is not something that must be accepted as just the way it is.
I have done some research and experimented in my own life only to come up with some very simple solutions to this potential life sucking inner dynamic. When fear comes, in any of its forms (resistance, doubt, worry, assumption, delay, insecurity, skepticism, the list goes on) and attempts to keep me in my spot, when I am on the trajectory to live into another amazing version of life, here are a few steps to take in order to get over the lid and crawl on new ground:
With huge love & a nudge out of the bucket,
Darcy Helene Meehan
As an advocate of Reinvention + Recovery, I work with clients to achieve balance, alignment and purpose in all areas