Reinvention & Recovery
  • Home
  • Coaching
  • Contact
  • Words of Wisdom

The Gifts of Patience, a book I'd like to read

1/17/2017

 
I catch myself wanting to be ahead of this moment. A lot. Imagining myself in the future and tapping my feet thinking "why aren't I there yet?" is a frustrating experience. Looking objectively at this question "why aren't I there yet?" actually has a very simple answer. The Future isn't ready for me yet. Later isn't my business. Not yet. Impatience is a thief of time, peace and joy. In discovering the role impatience has been playing in my life, I am determined to befriend her. Call it stubborn, call it foolish, call it whatever you want to call it. I am determined to embrace impatience and create more patience. Why? I want peace!

Patience is something I am befriending. I will admit, somewhat begrudgingly. I want to embody patience, to be the example of trust for others to witness and be reminded that Life does in fact know what it is doing. Ultimately, I believe that everything is right on time. If I had been given certain things right when I wanted them, I'd have no idea how to receive, maintain or sustain them. I wash t ready for them yet! I want to believe in Life's timing and sometimes I have major doubts. The discomfort of feeling doubtful jostling and unnerving. The beliefs that accompany these feelings are equally grueling. Leaning into patience requires faith; Getting back to the facts is helpful: Now is all there is. Having a plan is wise. Putting in the work is necessary. Letting go helps me receive help. Nothing is guaranteed. I am right on time.

I spoke with a client today who was mirroring back exactly what I have been experiencing. A participant in Writing Into Reinvention, an eCourse guiding participants in cultivating a personal writing practice that launched last Summer, shared about his frustration that he doesn't have more pages written yet. My response: "Of course you don't! You've just begun." His desire to be at the end when the beginning has just commenced is something I relate to. A lot. Rushing the process robs me of the joy in growing. Growth can be glorious, when I allow the natural progression to happen. The more I rush and resist, the more pain I experience. Why judge where I am? I experience what I am prepared for. 

Appreciating the process is not reinforced in our society as much as I would like. Moving faster, getting ahead, and looking successful are all stressors that take us out of cherishing what is happening right now. Being in the moment allows the future to be fulfilling. If I cannot be here now, when then comes, who is to say I will appreciate it at all?

Brene Brown had a lot of gems to offer in her musings on imperfection. 
The Gifts of Patience is a book I would like to read. Studies on mindfulness prove a great point: every system benefits from meditation, breath work and present moment awareness. Maybe that is all patience is... moment to moment patience. Learning to become more at peace with the process takes practice. One day at a time, I invite you to choose these things: to prioritize what matters to you and balance growth with gratitude. Until this book is published, or I write it (we teach what we most need to learn, right?!), I have some things to practice. Want to join me? Even if you are the most patient person you know, perhaps you have some quality that could use more honing. Use that to ponder these ideas.

- Befriend what does not come easily.
- Look for the gifts it has to offer you.
- Breathe into the moment and ask "how could I be more __________ right now?"

If you pause for just a moment and stay open to the answer, I guarantee it will come. It might be super simple, like "drink some water" or "call your mom." The answers might not make sense to you now. That's okay. Trust the process. Trust yourself. Your future self will thank you. Work hard. Rest well. Make friends with everything in you. Be patient. You are in progress and process. 

How how patience benefited you?
What helps you make peace with what doesn't come easily to you?
How do you trust the process and stay present?

Leave me a message and let me know... who knows, it might be featured in a book someday (smile).

With Huge Heart,
Darcy



Overcoming The Crab Bucket Effect

1/1/2017

 
Have you noticed yourself in moments when you're on the grow & everything is okay, or even smooth sailing and you're feeling elated, when fear or doubt creep in? The notorious "when is the other shoe going to drop?" syndrome shows up big time. I have had moments like this popping up at the most inopportune times, probably because I am in major growth mode and challenging core beliefs that have threatened to hold me back for a long time. It seems that resistance comes when I'm on the verge of another breakthrough. Can you relate? ​

It's like the crab bucket effect - when one crab is about to get over the rim into a whole new world of freedom, the other crabs grab at it and pull it back into familiar territory.

We all have an inner crab bucket full of pesky claws waiting to keep us put instead of allowing, or even encouraging, us to grow into the next phase. How does the crab bucket effect get turned on its side? Surely this is not something that must be accepted as just the way it is.

I have done some research and experimented in my own life only to come up with some very simple solutions to this potential life sucking inner dynamic. When fear comes, in any of its forms (resistance, doubt, worry, assumption, delay, insecurity, skepticism, the list goes on) and attempts to keep me in my spot, when I am on the trajectory to live into another amazing version of life, here are a few steps to take in order to get over the lid and crawl on new ground:
    
  1. Acknowledge the fear: what is the thought or belief underlying the resistance or worry?
  2. Face the facts: what's really true here? Not what fear says is true, what’s actually happening. (Where are your feet?)
  3. Honor your feelings: what is the main emotion present? What does it need from you in order to feel safe?
  4. Seek support: call on a friend, coach, therapist or sponsor who you feel safe being completely open with; share what's going on and ask for feedback and an objective point of view.Self counseling when fear is front and center is not the most self loving or sane option.    
  5. Breathe: take five long, slow, deep breaths in and out through the nose and mouth to re-stabilize your system. If you stop breathing at a steady rate, the sense of dread or panic will only grow.
  6. Flip the script: rather than consulting the fear for guidance, ask a new set of questions:                                                                                                                              If I  weren't afraid, what would I think right now? What does faith and courage want me to do right now? When I choose to feel __________, instead of _________, this _________ becomes  possible.  
  7. Make a new agreement: being in new territory means making new commitments to yourself. Since fear is showing up, you're likely treading uncharted territory. If you stick to old agreements in new experiences, you will relive what's already been. To have something different and be someone different you must incorporate something different! What will you commit to thinking, believing, choosing, doing and living in this phase of your journey?         I will share honestly, openly and transparently about my experience with___________. When fearful thoughts come and I want to quit instead of pursuing my dreams, I will______________. I commit to treat myself__________.
  8.  Remember the basics: are you hungry? Eat something fresh and don't forget the protein. Are you hydrated? Carry that h20 with you. Is there a need for a rest or at least slowing down momentarily to breathe? Is your body exercised? Take a walk or get to the gym for a quick movement sesh. Does your heart need some tending to? Call a friend, FaceTime your partner, text a mentor or write a letter to someone who reminds you what courageous living and loving on purpose is.​
Fear need not win and keep you in previous chapters of your life story. Unless you challenge it, boldly and lovingly, you will likely live a Groundhog Day existence, in at least one area of your life. The crab bucket effect is real, just because it has had its way in the past doesn't have to dictate your present and future course. Defy the odds and climb into the next version of yourself. Who could you become if you refused to succumb to resistance just because of a little discomfort? What dreams and real magic exists in the life of that version of yourself - the courageous, bold, won't quit, growth oriented, committed to regret-free existence? Choose that! Believe me - it is so worth it, and so are you.

With huge love & a nudge out of the bucket,
Darcy

    Darcy Helene Meehan

    As an advocate of Reinvention  + Recovery, I work with clients to achieve balance, alignment and purpose in all areas
    of life. I specialize in a psycho-spiritual approach that brings simple coaching and counseling tools in to assist you in healing, wholeness and thriving through transition. I focus on specific areas, including maintaining extended recovery and
    conscious life design.

    Picture

      Contact Darcy:

    Submit


    Categories

    All
    Acceptance
    Allow
    Awareness
    Balance
    Blessings
    Challenge
    Change
    Choice
    Coaching Strategies
    Courage
    Dream
    Faith
    Fun
    Gratitude
    Honesty
    Independence
    Influence
    Intuition
    Invitation
    Knowledge
    New
    Peace
    Plan Of Action
    Poise
    Practice
    Priorities
    Questions
    Reaction
    Recovery
    Reflection
    Reframe
    Release
    Response
    Trust
    Vulnerability

    Archives

    September 2019
    August 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    September 2017
    April 2017
    January 2017
    November 2016
    October 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    April 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    March 2015
    November 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    July 2012

    RSS Feed

    Subscribe Today FOR THE LATEST NEWS & Gifts!

Submit
Picture
Picture
  • Home
  • Coaching
  • Contact
  • Words of Wisdom