Eating is imperative. No one gets away with no food for long. This is just how it is, right? Pretty common sense, yet as someone in recovery from anorexia, learning to live with food is not easy. My relationship with food is complicated because of how this insidious illness shows up. Fear of being full, how food will be digested and weight will be dispersed is the part of anorexia that can take all joy away from meals. Recovery from this disorder is ongoing and never ending.
Learning to embrace food, what makes living possible, is multi layered. With or without an eating disorder, food is about so much more than food. It's not just about eating more, finding "the right diet" or the scale going up or down. It's about shifting what food means, what eating represents and what becomes possible when food is embraced. I won't get into all of that here, partly because recovery from an eating disorder is unique to every individual, just as preferences and needs are individual for all of us. What I will say is this: whether you identify with having a complicated relationship with your body and food or not, it is possible to create a new way. Right now.
Core values are the things that really matter, what motivates you to keep moving forward, maybe providing an incentive to step into challenge or change. Connection is one of mine. Turning the tables (pun intended) on my food intake and choices has been a process, ebbing and flowing throughout the years since my recovery first began. Making peace my with my plate comes one meal at a time, even with significant recovery and freedom from what used to plague me. 2017 marked a significant return to freedom around food for me. This last shift really started happening when meals became a time to connect with others. Stepping into treatment to get a relapse under control, I completely changed up what had become normal for meal time. Sitting down at a table and talking, no technology around, being present with the uncomfortable or delightful, is what meals can be. Rather than a rushed, on the go scarf fest or isolated, over analyzed event, meals and snacks revolved around something more than food. Talking, sharing, listening, learning, playing, laughing, letting it all be.
Linking health and well being with core values makes it more likely to bring in new habits, patterns and ways. Perhaps there is an area of your life where you'd like to have new patterns enter in. Do you wish your relationship with food and body image were different? What about the interactions you have with family or friends? Whatever the areas is, in order to make meaningful changes that stick, identifying your core values is key. I had lost touch with what really mattered to me in the grief and stress of last year (these are two factors that I now see greatly led to the relapse). Reuniting with my values created a strong foundation on which I am now standing. A little time, attention, permission and a lot of support got me to remember what matters, for me. Connection, with others and myself, motivate me to keep moving in new directions and choosing health above all else. This matters more to me than feeling in control by defaulting to what is familiar (aka, the patterns that seem safe because they have been used so many times before).
My plate is plentiful. My life is full. And I am more than okay with this, because I am connected to myself and people around me who will remind me what matters when I get side tracked.
Do you know what matters most to you?
(How) are core values helping you live with intention and wholeness?
Reach out to me for support & schedule your free strategy call to get clear in new ways. I am here for & with you.
With so much love,
I think everyone wants to inspire others, to be a force for good, to spread love, to help the world flow more smoothly and joyously. I know I have been pulled out of rough times, dragged forward, called higher, by the energy that inspiration is. I want to inspire others to be who they are called to be, to live fully.
While this is a noble intention, it hasn't been possible for me to consistently be a force for good in the ways I've wanted to much of my life. There has been a piece missing. That piece is self love. Addiction has riddled my mind and body since early adolescence, going into remission and being tended to more of the time than not, since the time I was thirteen. Addiction is rooted in self hate, a denial of self worth and false beliefs about what is possible. Fear is one of the biggest pieces in my relationship with addiction; even when in remission, fear can creep in, linger and taunt. Where Fear lives, inspiration and hope are harder to come by or keep for long.
What I have found, through rough and tumble moments and years, is this: learning to be inspired by my own life and self helps me heal. When I am in health, choosing to heal and claim my wholeness (even when I have areas to grow in still), I can inspire others. I recently went through a relapse of anorexia. It has been a surreal experience to revisit what I thought I had long ago buried. To let others support me in ways I wish I didn't need, to simplify everything and move much more slowly has pulled on painful strings. I am reinventing myself, yet again, and re-rooting my foundation. Self love is one of my great lessons right now; I am seeing, feeling, defining what it means to love myself and be inspired everyday. I could not do this alone... even though sometimes I feel I am. Through dark times come light.
If I hadn't fallen into relapse, completely unintentionally, and fallen into surrender, I would not have been re-inspired like I have. I met Ipek, one of the more courageous people I have yet to meet, last Fall. With so much love in her, she dared to share a dream with me that had been stifled for who knows how long. She, too, is compelled to live inspired and open others up to their own light. Project (i)inspire was formed, in writing, over a sunlit afternoon conversation in a cozy room with a laptop and two healing hearts. Since then, I have been carefully looking for ways to tap back into my own light so that others can more easily see their own when in my company. Ipek has helped me do this, to remember who I am when I had forgotten.
Like Reinvention & Recovery, Project (i)inspire is born from love and a dream. The fog of depression and addiction, grief and loss, change and growth, is real. This is what life is. Ebbs and flows, learning curves and creating. Ipek has created a platform where all of us can re-claim our own light and show others how they have inspired us; a small gesture of love can and does save lives. am privileged to be a pioneer in Project (i)inspire, with Ipek and what is quickly becoming hundreds of others aroun the world.
Are you curious about what it means to be (i)nspired from the inside out? Click here to find out more and join the community now. There is a place for you, to be exactly where you are, and be guided toward new light. For a free strategy coaching call with me, click here. I am human, beautifully in process, and here for and with you. As a coach and creative, I know what it means to dive deep and soar high. Reach out for support!
"See you" soon & sending so much love,
We all have times when it seems someone, or no one, is appreciating our efforts to improve their life. This happens, we are all human and are on the giving or receiving end of un- or under- appreciation. Simply put, it is deflating and insecurity provoking to be showing up and feel slighted by those we love or seek approval and affection from. Your brain might be telling you that you're not doing enough, something is wrong, this person or people don't like or love you anymore... most likely, none of these things are true. Most likely, what you want is warranted and just because you're not getting it how you want it doesn't mean anything more than that.
As a person committed to personal accountability and self love, I have caught myself in a place of feeling less loved than I'd like because some of the people around me just don't have much affection or words of appreciation to give right now. This simply means, I get to (yes, get to) show up for myself even more. No one can give me something I'm unwilling to give myself, or if they are I have to be able to receive from myself before I can fully receive from them. It's a catch 22, isn't it? So much of this life is. What I know for sure is that there is a quick fix to feeling un- or under- appreciated that will flip the script on what your head might be telling you. Nothing is wrong with you and nothing is wrong with them. Yes, you might want some things to change. Cool, let's start with changing you and the rest will follow.
If you're feeling like I have been, here are a few quick tips for switching into appreciation mode and beaming gratitude & acceptance above anything else.
1. Jot down three things you appreciate about how you are showing up. Maybe you write what you want someone else to take note of. Perhaps something else shows up. (For example, do you appreciate that you are willing to show up with yourself even though you feel angry, sad or lonely?)
2. Give someone else a shout out. That's right! Call, text or heck, go visit someone and tell them why you appreciate them. Maybe the person you want some love from is just the one who needs you to give them some praise. When you give freely you just might be surprised how life gives back to you.
3. Invite Love in. I did this years ago during a time I felt particularly lonely. Not only did I get myself out of the routine of pessimism and martyrdom, I was so delighted at how love showed up through streams I could not have imagined. I woke up and said "okay Life, I'm ready for Love to come in." That day, and many since then, I have done this and met new people who have impacted my perspective in important ways, been introduced to literature that has had a beautiful ripple effect on my creative life, met someone I was able to help and brighten their day, saw a detail of nature that reminded me all is well, the list goes on. When you are sincerely ready to receive, what you need will find you.
If none of these do the trick, start from the top and try again. It takes practice to change habits and you might just be in the habit of blaming rather than claiming. Ig you are, don't worry. A change is just around the corner as long as you're ready for it and willing to let go of what's weighing you down. This in itself is a huge gesture of self-appreciation, and heck, what's really better than that?
Need some help getting new routines like this to stick? Contact me for personal coaching and a free strategy call now.
With huge heart,
Darcy Helene Meehan
As an advocate of Reinvention + Recovery, I work with clients to achieve balance, alignment and purpose in all areas