We are all being called to face something, grow in one area or another (or a few all at once). As uncomfortable aggravating, frightening, or unfamiliar as your current state of mind or life might be, what is currently a challenge might also be the opportunity for your next breakthrough. If you knew how would you use what's challenging you to grow and thrive? Turning the challenger into an ally is not necessarily easy, yet is it very simple.
Here's my most current challenger: Impatience. I want to have answers now that I simply don't have. The reality is, it's not time to know or do certain things or I would have already. Attempting to force what isn't ready has been causing challenge and difficulty, provoking fear where faith would carry me through just fine. Getting more and more uncomfortable, I had a moment of recognition: I can use this impatience to my benefit whenever I choose. It's up to me. I was trying to force impatience out of my mind and being, which didn't work whatsoever. I didn't like impatience when the reality is I haven't taken the time to understand it's perspective. What I resist persists, the saying is as accurate as ever. Resistance is a sign that acceptance is needed. Tolerating, accepting and befriending what I am resisting in myself leads to breakthroughs. So, I leaned in, as uncomfortable as it can be, to get to know this thing, this feeling, this perception, I had been telling to kick rocks. Becoming willing to sit with impatience revealed something else entirely. I am befriending patience and reaping great benefit.
This is not to say I am turning the hands of time and getting answers as immediately as I want them. It turns out that isn't the point, freedom is. I am sitting with impatience (and the fear that lives underneath it), growing and learning how to be okay with uncertainty and even enjoy the exhilaration of it. What I have done is turn the challenger of impatience into an ally of patience, trust, perseverance. Do you want to feel more peaceful with what is? I don't know who doesn't want more allies in their corner, I sure do.
Engaging a process I have honed over time, one I lead clients in regularly, I retrieved the gifts hidden in my current experience. Impatience transformed into fortitude and faith with just a few minutes of attention and inquiry. The difference in energy is stuff of breakthroughs! Give yourself the gift of a shift in perspective & transform that challenge into a launching pad. Below is part of the process I use and guide clients through to shift from victim mode and stuckness into brilliant choice maker in the flow. Give them a try and see your inner tribe of confidantes grow.
Use these tips and techniques to turn any inner conflict into collaboration, difficulty into acceptance, challenger into ally. For extra support and to go deeper in this transformative process, be in touch with me now!
Nothing is stopping you even if it feels like you're not quite on track. Turn difficulties into stepping stones through that powerful perspective of yours! Befriend your challengers and watch them become allies.
You've got this,
I've been called a Pollyanna. A lot. Apparently being called a Pollyanna is a jab, yet I take it as a compliment. Look at her story more closely to see the power in positivity and perseverance. She was a gal who went through A LOT in her young life: orphaned, pawned off on various people, left to fend for herself, constantly in transition, poor, hard working, no guarantees of security and a lot to withstand. Through every experience, she chose to see the silver linings. She slowed down and savored the details. She was grateful for what she had even with so much uncertainty and despair. Pollyanna was a trooper, a pioneer, an avant garde, a light bearer. She flummoxed those around her who were driven by fear, trying to look good to everyone around them at all costs (ego), at the same time inspiring many to stop and smell the roses with her choice to be simple and sincere. Pollyanna had her priorities straight. She knew what she stood for and had her bottom lines. She might not have had a lot in the physical realm, yet her spirit was full and she had everything to gain. What about that is a turn off? Seeing the world through rose colored glasses more than many and holding vision for potential where it might not be present today is inherent to who I am. I've been through a lot and choose to keep going. If that makes me a Pollyanna, I'll take it with a smile.
I see the power of Pollyanna. One of the lessons she teaches is this: With every moment, every uncertainty, there is one choice to make: will I choose to be grateful for what is here and open to what's possible, or will I curse the world for what it's not giving me and play the victim role? She had many reasons to whine and say "woe is me." Being a victim or martyr is easy, it's convenient, it's a trap. Rising into gratitude and staying curious about what is being grown might not be easy. It is worthwhile though. Pollyanna rallied an entire community, uniting people who were insistent on being enemies, even bringing a smile and laughter to the biggest curmudgeon ever.
Pollyanna danced to her own tune. She was willing to look silly in the name of authenticity. She shared herself generously with other people and questioned the status quo. She connected rather than isolated. She paused to get to know herself even in the dark times. She felt her feelings and moved on when drowning in sadness, anger or blame were viable options. She was real. What about that isn't attractive? It wasn't easy to understand from the outside and many judged her for how she was, who she was. Undoubtedly this hurt her and she accepted it, staying true to herself through it all. She was the one she had been waiting for all along and knew it as she veered off her own course and found her way back. She took responsibility for her life and refrained from blaming Life for screwing her over. She dared to embody gratitude and live fully each day to the best of her ability.
Staying stuck in the blame game is where disdain, anger, rage, addiction, depression and apathy are bred. Gratitude turns darkness into light, bridges worlds, creates doorways of possibility where few options existed. Gratitude transforms black and white living into full color. Gratitude or blame? I choose the former. It's more pleasant to live with and much more attractive. Audrey Hepburn said it simply and clearly: Happy girls are the prettiest. Gratitude might not equal happiness all the time, it does make it possible to feel free and content in whatever circumstance. Clinging to blame and pessimism keeps familiarity, allows there to be a stance of "I'm right." What is looked for will be found. Will you look for what's right or what's wrong? Either way, you'll find it.
Pollyanna didn't have all the answers. She lived in the moment, recognizing that the future isn't for us to see yet. Being right here and now is where the magic happens. Being fully awake to the reality of today with the lens of "how amazing is this" is revolutionary. Others might judge, saying it's stupid/silly/unrealistic/idiotic/counterintuitive/ignorant to be positive when things seem to be going down the tubes or much of life is a big question mark. It's at these times, when the opinions of others are tempting to drag you into fear and worry, that turning inward, or to those close by who hold the light and also choose to see the silver linings, is imperative. Dare to be grateful in the midst of everything. I dare you.
When all else fails, when the mind is going into fear mode, when there is a grasping at something to rely on, pause, literally, to stop and breathe in more deeply. Get out a piece of paper or the phone and get to gratitude. Asking "what has gone right? What brought joy or delight? If I looked back on today in a week or a year, what would I wish I had stopped to say thank you for?" This shifts fear into freedom and invites delight/peace/humility in. With every "thank you" a "fuck you" is quieted. The world, both inner and outer, is a more pleasant place to inhabit with the "thank you" record playing. This practice is so simple. Simple and transformative. Try it.
Be a Pollyanna. Take the challenges facing you, in your head or household, and choose to see how Life is inviting you to grow into the next greatest version of yourself. Stay a victim or join this tribe, I bet you will have more fun and be challenged in ways that satisfy beyond measure. The choice is yours.
Need some help becoming a Pollyanna? Contact me now & claim your space in the tribe. Learn how to thrive through every transition and finally enjoy the adventure of getting to know yourself & living your life.
With a smile,
What's the first thing that comes to mind when you read this eleven letter word? Is it excitement, anxiety, a sense of defeat or elation? Transition = change. Inevitable, par for the course, routine occurrences. We know this, right? Transitions and change, they are the only constants, yet how many of us can honestly say we are maximizing the benefits of the transitions we are currently in? Probably not many of us. I for one have spent many ages, stages and phases barely surviving. The growth that came from these periods was painful, excruciating, nearly life ending at certain points. Transition scared me and I did everything I could to avoid change even when I wanted it. The confusion and fear was debilitating. This is something I wish on no one. There came a point where I came face to face with the fear that was running my life, fear of change, of stepping into my power, of reinventing the relationship I had with myself and the world around me. This was a turning point, a wake up, a paradigm shift. I reinvented myself and starting growing through transition instead of barely making my way through the changes that came at me. I starred choosing how I would change versus being victim to the circumstances that showed up. I stopped surviving. I started thriving.
My life today is very different than it ever has been, a far leap from where I was years ago. More often than not, I am eager to step into change and curious about where it will lead because I am so clear about who I am and what I want. The process of healing has been a paradigm shift from illness to wellness, surviving to thriving, fear to love. Learning to navigate transition and thrive through it has become my life's work because of my own profound transformations. Addiction to sobriety. Abuse to self celebration. Poverty to wealth (in more areas than one). Loneliness to vibrant community. Apologizing for who I am to sharing my inherent gift with pride. All the road bumps I have encountered and survived through have led me to a new place of thriving. The rules of the road, tricks of the trade, tools and techniques learned and cultivated through trial and more trial are as valuable as gold. Well earned and honed, like tempered steel growing stronger through the fiery times, I now thrive through all transition, thanks to committing to some simple things on a consistent basis. Do you want to learn how?
Here's a glimpse into the roadmap for thriving through every and any transition. These will get you started & turn from surviving into thriving:
• Ask the right questions: turn "why?" into "what (now)?"
• Use failure as a launching pad: when life interrupts, there is wisdom to gain when you choose to see it:
Take the "no" to get to the "yes"
• Stop resisting fear, use it
Try asking "who would I be without this fear?" and see what comes... it could be life changing
• Visualize your desires: surround yourself with what you want not necessarily what you have currently
Vision boards are legit. Use that imagination to start thriving, no more feeding worry or fear!
• Follow the formula (Yes, there is a formula for success!): here's where a mentor comes in handy
• Link up with your tribe: no one does it alone
• Get mindful: Meditate, & no you don’t have to sit cross legged
• Watch those thoughts, they create reality
• Write it out: express yourself, free the mind & let it out; whether it makes sense or not matters not!
Julia Cameron's daily pages exercise from The Artist's Way is a great place to start
• Stop and play: prioritize simple joys to balance the scales between all the hard work you're doing
• Take a time out
• Get grateful: a daily gratitude list does wonders for the soul & perspective
Choose your domino effect
• Schedule everything: balance happens with a little curiosity & intention
• Pay attention to the basics
• Let go of something tangible: Spring cleaning anyone?
Releasing creates space for what is ready to enter in, give Life a nod that you are ready for the next best thing
• Play the magic wand game: if you could have, be, create, experience anything what would it be?
Quit playing those limiting thought tapes & let your visionary out... remember, thoughts create reality
If some of these don't make sense to you completely, you're not alone! Learning into a new way of life is a process with many layers. Wherever you are, whatever you begin incorporating from the list above, it is a gorgeous start. This is what transitions are all about, learning and growing through everything. Reach out to me for more guidance and clarity on how to customize these tips and use what you're going through for your benefit. My personal coaching program, Lifestyle: Reinvention, has just a few spots left for VIPs like you. Claim your place & begin reinventing with success now: Don't just go through life, grow through it!
Reinvention awaits and the best is yet to be. Redefine your relationship to where you've been and where you're going. I believe in you.
Darcy Helene Meehan
As an advocate of Reinvention + Recovery, I work with clients to achieve balance, alignment and purpose in all areas