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I am doing a lot of stretching these days, both literally and figuratively. I am stretching beyond my comfort zones to live into the dreams that light me up, to surpass regret's grips and experience success in new ways. With all of the change and transition I am in, I felt a nudge to get back into a meditation/ movement practice. Tada - the handy dandy yoga has made a resurgence in my daily routine. in 2013 I completed my yoga teacher training with Shy Sayar in Thailand. It was then that yoga became more than an option for exercise and a challenge to balance. It became paramount for me, a doorway into peacefully meeting anything that came, a play date with myself, a silent therapy session, a way of life. The reminders from the mat (or kitchen floor, or wherever you decide to practice) are simple and so profound. Breathe, really breathe. Get back to basics and return here often. Start from the ground up. Keep the goal in mind then get back to here and now. Use inner alignment as the foundation. Fuck the outer shape, what's outside doesn't necessarily represent whats happening inside. Stretch into your new capacity. Lean beyond your comfort zone slowly. Take your time (but keep going). I could talk about this for pages and ages. Yoga is a metaphor for so much. Whether you've practiced yoga or not, stick with me. Maybe take this as an opportunity to Google a few moves or even try out an online video. This could be one of those life changing, before and after moments you've been dreaming of.
The success I have sought on the mat is not so different than what I imagine for other areas of my life. Defining success for ourselves opens the doorways to get there. (Tweet Tweet) Success comes from consistently surpassing what was a previous glass ceiling, accepted limitation, or comfort zone. Every time I exhale into downward facing dog, a pose that challenges me still, I breathe into the crunchy or sore spaces, align with my inner shape {heels back, tail bone toward the back wall, lower ribs toward the spine...}, then breathe further into the moment. I find my edge and allow the combination of inner and outer forces to bring me just beyond it. I choose to stick with myself no matter what. Not pushing or forcing, simply breathing and allowing, this is how radical shifts happen. This is how I finally got my heels the ground while maintaining integrity in my upper body for down dog (maybe insignificant to you and a big, I mean a big deal, for me). I let the thoughts moving through my mind move out with every exhale as I stretch myself beyond the confines of thinking or a tight muscle. I allow what is to be to the best of my ability and willingness (acceptance is the answer to all my perceived problems after all) and question the status quo with curiosity, keeping my commitment to growth front and center. I stretch into success on the mat the same way I do off the mat. After years of being MIA from a consistent practice, I am returning to this meditative movement with sheer delight, plenty of aggravation, some vulnerability and a fair amount of sweat. It isn't easy to face limitations and stay centered with myself. The temptation to stop breathing and force an outcome I want is there with tenacity. The inner dialogue tempts me to quit, walk out, swear at the people I could compare myself to remains between the moments of blissed out breathing. This being said, I want to grow more than I don't, which means facing the discomfort and sticking with the simple steps to self mastery. That is my brief definition of success. Growing involves discomfort and risk taking. It also requires a commitment to practicing the basics and letting the elaborate attachment to image go. I might not look like the toned and tight lulu lemon wearing yogini next to me. I might get antsy and want to hurry up and get "there" already. These surface deep distractions will come and they will go. As important or appealing as they seem to be, they don't ultimately matter. What matters is that I keep stretching. Keep breathing. Keep asking and answering the right questions so I am aligned with my core values, what really matters to me. From here I will know the next step to take; likely it will involve something simple I need to practice a bit more of. Successful stretching implies courage, requires tapping into your bad ass self and trusting that small moves make a difference. Where is your current edge? What do you sense is living just beyond where you've halted, stalled or stopped? How might slowing down, breathing in, exhaling comparison and taking one move just beyond where you've become familiar change your entire reality? It's not about getting "there" and staying there, wherever there is for you. I don't strike the most amazing down dog ever and stay there just because I don't want to lose it. I lean or slump out of it then attempt again. Such is the life, right? The willingness to wobble, stumble, even tip over and look silly is where flexibility grows and success is bred. Take a lesson from the pages of this kitchen floor practicing yogini's book if you dare: breathe (I mean really breathe), discover the basics that will keep you safe, stable and satisfied, then stretch from there. Need a nudge to get beyond your comforte zone? Not sure what basics will set you up for success? Reach out to me for individual support or sign up to get WOW posts sent straight to you. Darcy I have been in the midst of great changes. Ironic, right? The reinvention coach and mentor for empowered change is living another great transformation. Well, that's me at the moment. The inevitable changes of life are happening and I am choosing some more. Fears are being faced. Vulnerabilities are being exposed. Beliefs are cropping up to be digested, reframed, thrown out and turned into fuel for forward movement. With these changes and transitions, more time on my own has led to a sense of loneliness. Or so I thought...
I am on my own in a new place, another stage of life, in unfamiliars on many levels. The thought "I'm lonely" has been making surprise appearances consistently, and I'll admit not to my liking. Initially, I took this thought as fact and started the dip into momentary depression or sadness. Lonely! Oh no. The idea of loneliness set me into fear mode, like loneliness was some goblin guaranteed to turn me into stone, a scarlet letter on my chest, code for "you're unlovable." Left unchecked, the thought "I'm lonely" would quickly become a belief with a disempowering association. Through the practice I've cultivated, I didn't plunge into a dark hole when I definitely could have, believing loneliness meant something was wrong with me or where I was going. Instead, I asked a few of the right questions and turned the looming thought into a great insight. So, I feel lonely. Okay. Is that really true? Are you really lonely? What does lonely even mean? If I am, is that such a bad thing? What else is true? What's the gift of going solo? These queries got me to pause rather than run with the initial thinking, thoughts that would undoubtedly lead me to mean self talk and defeatist mentality. Ah, that precious pause. It does wonders for anything. Stopping to breathe gave me a moment to see where I was, actually looking at where my feet were and assessing the facts of my present situation. Reality check! Asking my inner wisdom a few questions and sitting with the answers that came, I became delightfully surprised to find that I was not lonely after all. Yes, I was alone. That was true. Yes, I had thoughts of missing someone and experiences of another time. That, too, was true. What else was true? I was tapping into independence on new levels. I was healthy and whole on my own. I know how to be with myself and live a meaningful life, one morning or afternoon at a time. I actually love being able to choose on a whim where I'll go and what I'll do, a benefit of being independent and in my own company. So, I'm alone, what will I do now? Dancing in the kitchen, yoga moves in the living room, clips of The Office while making a smoothie, changing my mind mid move, silence while meditating, the world is mine to choose as an independent woman on a mission to live fully and love myself completely. The options are endless, what fun! Looking at my concept of lonely, I transformed the definition into something neutral and eventually elating. Left unchecked, it would hold power over me, and who likes to be controlled by a thought or feeling? With a willingness to explore what frightened me, it became just another word I could use or not. Talk about freedom! When the thought "I'm lonely" came, it means I'm not tuned into my relationship with a higher power or myself. Feeling alone is an invitation to befriend myself in simple ways, to turn up the music and dance, to do something that nurtures my spirit. Being alone does not equal loneliness. Neglecting the amazing relationship I get to have with myself is what feeds loneliness. Talk about a reframe. Challenging previously unquestioned beliefs is where the gold lies. This question and answer session shook me up in the best kind of way. The downer became an upper. Loneliness turned to luscious aliveness as I chose to delve deep and shift my thinking. Loneliness is just a convenient label, for spaciousness, sacred self time, independence. The negative connotation placed on being alone is silly when I really look at it. As a few of my clients with children would remind me, having a minute alone to go to the bathroom is precious let alone an entire afternoon! Don't get me wrong. Being alone all the time isn't healthy, nor is it why we are here in human bodies. Connecting with community is life affirming, validating, pleasurable. No doubt. "My people" near and far remind me to stay the course when fears crop up or I feel wobbly. I cherish them more than words, those close to me and part of my previous chapters. This being said, an inability to be alone and content in the solo moments is such a shame. Some of the most meaningful, spiritual, fun, endearing, heart opening moments I have experienced have been when I am in my own presence. Turning inward then reaching out to others is the foundation for the strongest friendships and bonds. Love mastered inside makes it possible to share with others and stay centered in yourself at the same time. Know yourself and you'll attract the tribe you've been waiting for. The next time a sense of loneliness moves through your mind, take it as an invitation to a party of one with you, turn that music up and start dancing, curl up and read a book, light the candle, draw a bath, do what soothes your spirit and lights your soul on fire. In other words, do something just for you & be kind because you are amazing. Being alone is something so often taken for granted & is really worth celebrating. The longest relationship we get is the one with ourselves, might as well make it an incredible one. What is one thing you'll choose today to cherish your self? To Enthusiastically Alone Living & The Tribes that Inspire Independence, Darcy Do you want to feel more comfortable & content in your solo time? Message me to find out how. "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams!
Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler." – Henry David Thoreau  There is motivation inside each of us, desires fueling us forward in the midst of trial, fatigue or difficulty. These desires might be familiar to you already, such as wanting to have $50,000 in the savings account by this time next year or finishing the writing project before Summer's end. It might be a tangible dream, or it might be more emotionally based, such as feeling inspired or entertained doing daily activities. What matters about desire is that it has pull for you. Likely there are desires inside of you that aren't articulated yet, dreams and values driving your actions on a subconscious level. We all have them. Bringing awareness and language to these desires adds more momentum to your every move, providing the opportunity to align your choices and your dreams on a daily basis. Equally important is to uncover what's keeping you from living your dreams now (i.e. belief systems, unconscious values, the wrong associations). Awareness precedes change; change made conscious creates reinvention. Reinvention is empowerment and real magic embodied. Can you feel the sparkles flying with that one?
If your dreams and daily choices don't match up, if you're at a standstill or regressing rather than launching, life is nudging you to make some conscious changes. When you're experiencing challenge or self sabotage, you might take a look at what you're feeding. Are thoughts and behaviors in alignment with health and love of your current and future self? As you redesign, redefine and realign so your inner desires and lifestyle choices are more congruent, dreams will become reality in tangible ways. Take a look at what your insides and outsides are saying about your dreams, desires and values. Remember, awareness is key. Dare to be honest and be prepared to have life meet you in miraculous ways. Getting real leads to real living. Be a realist, expect miracles & usher them in. Here's a place to start: Grab a piece of paper or laptop and take notes on the following questions. What desire is driving you forward? Anything that comes to mind, write it down. Yes, you might desire financial freedom and a fulfilling relationship. What about comfort, being right or instant gratification? Is your engine fueled by perfectionism & the need for status or curiosity & commitment to loving your entire self? Remember, honesty is key. What's the truth for you today? What is keeping me from living the life I desire now? How am I stopping the flow of abundance? This might be uncomfortable, keep going. You are NOT alone in any of what you're seeing or feeling. The desires fueling you color your lens, they either create an enjoyable inner space or grueling and confining one. If you're feeling discontent or dragged down, inner criticism is likely louder than that inner cheerleader. If this is true for you, don't worry. Seeing where you are is a significant step in ensuring you don't stay stuck. Way to go you! What do you want the desires in you to fuel? Are you wanting to feel more compassion and contentment as you complete that professional goal? If you achieve these dreams, what will happen then? What adjustment is required to feel more aligned with the feelings you desire as you produce those big dreams? First thought, write it down. Some examples might be to get help to stop drinking, start a writing practice, seek out mentorship, feel what has been avoided from past losses, take a yoga class, spend more time outside. This might feel challenging, or even impossible. Write what comes anyway. You are creating a map to freedom and fulfillment! Inner dialogue goes a long way to shape your experience in all areas of life. Dreams and desires grow in the safety and security of inner stability. Kind words, honesty and commitment to honor oneself are the fertilizer for living the life you desire. How are you speaking to yourself when no one else is around? Are you setting healthy boundaries to further promote safety and security for your inner sacred self? Is generosity and compassion a consistent or rare event? What might it lead to if you chose to look in the mirror, gaze into your own eyes, and say "I'm here with you no matter what"? First thoughts, write them down. Start practicing now with honestly stating where you are, what you want and what it might take to get beyond what's been blocking you. There is great power and possibility in getting real. Self love is sexy, stabilizing and fuel for satisfying living. Consider this an invitation to choose your fuel and fill up with self love for today. Desiring more success and significance? Take action with self love as the stepping stone. Bold action: find the closest mirror. Look into your own reflection and give yourself a few words of appreciation. What would you tell your closest friend, puppy or child? Go on, give yourself a pep talk or pat on the back. Simplicity is the building block to success, start now & build up your self love tank. This IS the foundation for aligning dreams and desires with daily living. Plus, doesn't it feel awesome to be with someone who loves you? Be that You to You. Louise Hay, author and publishing company founder, said something like this: The relationship you have with yourself is the longest one you'll ever have. You might as well make it a good one. Need tips on how to choose your fuel and align dreams and desires with daily action? Contact me to schedule your free strategy session now! I'm here with you & ready to cocreate your reinvention & recovery roadmap. It is possible to live into the life you desire from where you are today. Satisfaction from the inside out is ready to access - be in touch & start the adventure now. With so much love, Darcy Lubow |
Darcy Helene
As an advocate of Reinvention + Recovery, I work with clients to achieve balance, alignment and purpose in all areas 
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