What do you do when life interrupts your best laid plans?
Things seemed to be going so smoothly. I mean really smooth.
I felt happy, on point, breaking through fear and experiencing what I dared to ask life for both in personal relationships and my professional life. Then there was a hiccup. Let me be more direct, then there was a slap in the face. Smooth sailing came to a screeching halt, at least that’s what I thought.
What had I done wrong?
Did I not use my tools?
Was I deluded to believe that things were working out?
The hiccup, trip up, back track into old beliefs and self blame turned out to be another wake up call. Jealousy, fear, insecurity, second guessing, self blame, survival mode, a sudden stall to what felt nearly too smooth, thinking it’s all gone to hell. Life interrupted? Or was it something else??
I had a choice to make.
Was I going to see this unexpected event, finding out about something that rubbed up against some of my great fears - as my downfall or opportunity to rise above?
The “crisis” label forming, red flags...oh yes, I know where that doom and gloom thinking takes me. It is not comfortable and I KNOW that it doesn't have to set the stage, especially not if I want to live in a place of balance, peace and satisfaction. I want these things and I do live with them most of the time. Life interrupted, can be just a simple interruption of life. Perhaps any hiccup is a reminder to show me just how much choice I have in how I live. Turning the attention back to me has been proven necessary. Truth be told, the focus on who I am in relationship with others was taking center stage. With compassion, devotion, celebration, tenderness, embarrassment and honesty I came back to myself with intention. Balancing the scales and feeding my inner resources brought me to new clarity. A bonus has been detachment from what others say, think, want or do. I get to choose how to be in any situation, just as others do.
Slowing down, meeting basic needs, feeling the feelings, taking care of me, relying on those in my inner circle, slowing down again, recognizing fears, talking about them, having real talks with trusted allies, slowing down (yes, again), using what I have to soothe anxiety so that clarity is possible. Moving at lightning speed in the whirlwind of heightened emotions and thoughts leaves little to no space for a fresh perspective. This is why the toolkit is so important. These are the tools that turn me toward solutions. Keys to open me up, to invite me to step beyond the story, circumstance, warped and one sided belief, or “crisis” rabbit hole. What lies beyond fear’s "limited vision" is a greater clarity and strength than you might imagination.
Looking between the black and white thinking, I now see that change does not equal crisis, disappointment does not mean everything has been a sham.
Crisis = Plot Twist.
Choosing to see how I am being taken care of in the midst of difficulty, is vital. Maintaining calm and seeing from a broader perspective, when details are triggering old beliefs and feelings that I’d rather not be with, is an art that comes with persistent practice. I have survived countless hurts, moments of overwhelm and debilitating fear. By asking a few simple questions, stepping back from the feelings, beliefs and assumptions that seem to be ultimate - other possibilities become visible. This past week has been a return to simplicity for me. Am I hungry? Am I tired? Do I need a pep talk? What is this feeling trying to tell me? What would I choose if I knew how loved I am? What lies beyond this fear?
When you think you've arrived and you get knocked down, life is intervening. Slow down, breathe, check in with your feelings, ask what else is true [beyond what is going on between your ears], seek support from trusted and trustworthy allies, distract yourself in healthy ways and ask important questions.
In asking myself these questions and practicing self care in simple ways, I see this hiccup as a blessing. Yes, there is pain, insecurity, awkward energies and some sadness. There is also strength, recognition of love, faith and tenacity. I am growing through this, whatever the outcomes are. Devoted to myself, I am choosing to see how life is taking care of me beyond any circumstances. It is a choice. This is peace. This is bliss. This is possibility.
Life interrupts us on occasion but that does not mean you have to feel the full weight of a Life Interrupted. Slow down. Feel the ouch. Breathe. Stay curious. Love yourself. Move on.
Life interrupts. Take it as a love nudge.
As an advocate of Reinvention + Recovery, I work with clients to achieve balance, alignment and purpose in all areas