Honesty is one of the main principles of the in the recovery process. There is so much to learn, to uncover, to call out and to reframe as we navigate life in all ages and stages. In my experience, there is a link between illness and dishonesty. This is not to say that illness is caused by dishonesty; I do believe that recovery is halted by it though. When we are living in dishonesty, whether consciously or unconsciously, vital energy that could be used for healing and thriving are detained with keeping the lies alive. Lies require so much energy and attention. They come with the territory of being human, right, but at what price?
Lying is exhausting.
The ways lies zap my life force became even more clear at a recent power-packed, energizing and revealing Mama Love retreat in the beauty of Sonoma County hosted by Empowerment Coach, Sacha Sterling. Led through an exercise practiced and taught by Crystal Andrus, Sacha led me and a number of other women into the energetic realm of truth versus lies in a simple and profound way.
Before introducing our real selves to the other women in this intimate gathering, we were asked to spend one minute lying. We could say anything we wanted, as long as it wasn’t true. The timer began and I drew a blank. What was I supposed to say? The energy required to come up with lies was surprising. I thought lying was easy! Testimonies of meeting alien life, claiming a cowboy lifestyle as my own, and being a mother of eight entered my mind fell from my lips. I fumbled on my words, feeling ridiculous as I spoke. Soon enough the sixty seconds were over. I was relieved and astonished at how I felt after telling lies for just one minute. My energy was undeniably lowered.
Then came the real introduction. For the same amount of time, I was to share about myself, truths only. The timer began again. My mouth opened and words danced out without thought. I knew the truth and it was easy to speak. It even felt good. Actually, it felt better than good. I felt right on time, vibrant and confident. As the time of speaking my truth came to a close, I felt an inner balance. I even noticed that the lethargy that had set in from the fibbing had been replaced and then some. I was humming, realigned with a natural flow. Truth has a way of doing that.
Lies zap energy. They require me to keep track of what I say, who I say it to, and when. If lies are so much work, why do I use them? I like to think of myself as an honest person. In most ways, I am. Honesty is a value I hold close, and yet, I fib often. Mostly, the lies I tell are to myself.
“Nothing good can come from this.”
“I could have prevented this from happening.”
“If I let go, I will lose out.”
“I should know how to handle this.”
“I don’t have time for self care.”
Can you relate to any of this?
Simple thoughts can reveal deeply rooted untruths.
Where are you feeling wiped out, tired, or lethargic in your life right now? Where is exhaustion showing up?
More than likely, there’s dishonesty tucked in there somewhere.
The good news is that awareness is a step in the direction of recovery and getting re-energized.
Getting honest, befriending the lies, the little ones and the whoppers both, and reframing your truth brings energy back into balance.
Invitation: Get out your personal journal or a lined piece of paper. On each line, complete the sentence “The truth is_______.” Do this as many times as you can until the pen stops. Once you feel complete for now, read the statements aloud and notice the sensations in your physical and emotional body. Maybe you have a coach, close friend or confidante to share this process with.
Acknowledging the truth in the moment doesn’t mean you have to do anything with it or about it. Simply seeing it transforms what is. Secrets and lies are exhausting and ultimately lead to lowered self esteem and shame. The truth sets us free. I like the sound of freedom, don’t you? So let’s name the truth and realign with who we really are: fabulous, powerful, and perfectly human! Recovery is about recovering parts of our true selves. Speaking the truth, even if our voice shakes, is what empowerment and healing are all about.
Here’s to rekindling the energy of the real you.
This article is featured in Simply...Woman! Online Magazine
Darcy Helene Meehan
As an advocate of Reinvention + Recovery, I work with clients to achieve balance, alignment and purpose in all areas