“What you eat you will eventually crave.”
(Susan Smith Jones)
We create our own cravings?!
What I take in today becomes what I will lean into and long for tomorrow. The small and simple daily choices begin to matter more and more as I reflect on this truth.
What are you eating physically?
What are you taking in emotionally, visually, mentally, spiritually?
What about in personal relationships, work environment and social settings?
Is what you are taking in what you want to crave?
Check out the areas on your life map and rediscover what you are taking in.
See something you don’t want to gravitate to?
Redirect your energy and implement new patterns.
Small choices lead to great change.
What do you want more of? Start feeding yourself with it now!
Create what you want to crave.
Reach out for support and realign, it is never too late to begin something new.
Here’s to realigning with our values, dreams, desires, thrilling presence and all things Love!
In the flow,
Have you ever caught yourself streaming the mean and nasty channel in your head?
If your answer was "No," I invite you to take another look and answer again
What if the solution to any present challenges in your life lies in being kinder to yourself and more compassionate?
Here’s a thought: Choose compassion, ditch criticism, live the life you desire.
Is this a radical idea or a profound truth?
I don’t know about you, but following the inner bully’s lead doesn’t get me where I want to go. On the contrary, I usually end up frustrated, discouraged and confused when I keep the mean and nasty channel playing unchecked in my head (aka: Bully Radio).
Believing the pushing, pulling, thrashing, judging, nagging, manipulating, or criticizing thoughts steal opportunities for joy and keep the life I desire out of reach.
Believing the accepting, praising, celebrating, exploring, cheerleading, embracing, dreaming, or nurturing thoughts motivate me to continue loving myself and showing up to life’s adventures.
When I am motivated in love, I thrive and produce desirable results.
When I am bullied by fear, I nose dive into self sabotage and dead ends.
What might become possible if you turn on the compassion and turn off the criticism?
Tuning into Love,
I learn so much from spending time with my goddess nieces. I see with new eyes every time I am around them. I learn so much about how to live fully from and with them.
Soon to be five years old, my niece Isis is the epitome of vibrant aliveness. She takes her tasks very seriously, determined to try new things and take the lead.
With the end of summer heat gracing us this week in Northern California, watering is primary on Isis’ to dos. Hose in hand, I watched as she took pride in quenching the thirst of parched plants all by herself. Before long, mud started pouring from the strawberry-clad garden patch. First just a little mud was something that intrigued and delighted her. She was seeing the results of her actions and her power! Then the mud stream continued, growing in speed and depth.
She was not so delighted with this turn of events. What was fun and precise, watering the plants and seeing the stream come down the driveway, had gotten uncomfortable and out of control, aka: muddy and messy. Shrieking and crying, she now wanted this to end. “Make it stop!” she pleaded with chaotic fervor. Over her bellowing, the so real in the moment dramatic reacting, I said once, twice, three times “just let go!” From my perspective, I could see that she still had control. Letting go was the key to stopping the stress.
When she was ready and able to hear me and try something different, she did. Releasing her grip, the hose drops. Then the mud slide halts. Next, her expression changes as the revelation sinks in.
All she had to do was let go. She had the key the entire time. When it was time to let go, she knew; the mud told her. Recalling how and when to relinquish control came with gentle alliance, this time from auntie DiDi’s shout over the screeching. Just dropping it, literally letting go of control, brought desirable results. Chaos stopped, equilibrium returned, clarity came. Lesson: Hold on until it is time to let go. The hose will be there tomorrow and she knows where to find it, how to pick it up, turn it on, use it, let go, turn it off, move on.
Simple, right? Yes and in the moment, when elements are in full force and emotions raised, seeing the solution can be difficult.
Where in your life, inside or out, are you holding on tight?
Where are emotions in high gear, tensions raised, control gripped close?
How do you know when the time is right to let go? (Thoughts, feelings, sensations, urges, intuitive guidance)
Letting go leaves room for solution to enter in; and if you want to grab on again, the chance will be there in one form or another.
When the time is right, the signs are pointing to try something different, to let go and let life take over for now, why not try it out?
Holding on when the signs are saying to let go can increase mess and stress. What if the solution to whatever is tense in you and your life right now is the let go just a little?
Here’s to releasing the grip and letting solution slide in!
In the Flow,
This article is featured in Simply...Woman! Online Magazine
Waking up to the voices in my head before the alarm goes off can be unpleasant. The stream of thoughts, potential worries, and demands for the day ahead are incessant and energized already. The energy of these unpleasantries has left my motivation to greet the demands and worries deflated. All this and my eyes are barely open!
As I take my time, stretching and settling into my body, the thoughts turn from subtle threats and mild manipulation to flat out bullying. “Time to get up,” “if you’re late, they’ll be mad,” “now you’re just being lazy, you got plenty of rest” Do any of these morning wake up thoughts sound familiar? I don’t know about you but I don’t enjoy beginning my day with someone like this. Whatever happened to “good morning, beautiful, how did you sleep?”
The incredible part is, some days I listen to these thoughts. If someone came into my room and started criticizing me the way the thoughts in my head do, I would ask them to leave. Maybe not so kindly, either. I would see how untrue their messages were. I would see through the bully into someone who is scared and doesn’t know how to ask for what they need in any other way.
So why, I wonder, do I take the not so nice commentary from my inner bully? Some habits go unquestioned and just become routine. Believing and following the thoughts that go through your mind might be one of your ingrained habits, too. Beginning to notice the thoughts leading to the actions I take creates room for empowerment choice. Being a victim to the thoughts and beliefs in my mind is no fun. Noticing when I have a mean and nasty message in the forefront provides an opportunity to slow down and assess if this is something I really want to perpetuate. Would I take this guidance, direction, or criticism from someone outside of me? Would I say this to someone I love? If not, then why am I giving it power and control in me? Why do I say it to myself?
Waking up to the way we speak to ourselves can change the way we live. Take a time out now and checking in with your thoughts. Are you speaking with gentle encouragement to yourself about yourself? Is there a positive regard in the tone of your thoughts, both about your self and your life? Or is judgment streaming through? How does it feel in your body when you think these thoughts? When I speak kindly to myself, I feel better physically, I have more tolerance for the people around me, I am aligned with the truth that I am supported by life. When I speak to myself with judgment and criticism, I want to get as far away from myself as possible. I have decided that I want to be someone I want to spend time with. Choosing thoughts that are loving and accepting feels good. By giving myself the encouragement and patience I share with those I love, I become great company. This is much more appealing that being dragged through my day by the leash of inner criticism.
Do you want to enjoy your company more often? To feel better? To have a clean, clear and inspiring mental environment? A few times throughout the day, take a mini break and check in with your thinking. Choose to be kind, to be honest, to be loving. If thoughts come that don’t feel good, choose new ones! If you wouldn’t say something to your niece or nephew, it likely isn’t something you want to keep saying to yourself. This practice is a simple and effective way to bring more awareness into your daily life and create new habits. Regardless of what the mental chatter has been so far, consider this to press the refresh button and start over!
Here’s to waking up with a smile.
In the flow,
(Let's be in touch! Contact me here.)
Inspiration shared is happiness multiplied. I say YES to inspired happiness.
Don’t be too timid or squeamish about your life. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. ~ Emerson
What a dare!
Experiments require us to embrace change.
Change is constant, afterall.
We all know this by now. Right?
Sometimes change is fun. Oftentimes it also stirs fear, anxiety, and other emotions that feel unmanageable or uncomfortable. The reality is that change introduces many unknowns. It also brings a truth to the surface: we don’t have control over everything.
One of the key components of recovery is reframing. Perceiving change as scary, unsafe, or bad might be a habit of yours. I know I catch myself defaulting to this from time to time. Using the power of reframing guides me back to some empowering truth: change is healthy, change is exciting, and change is safe. From here, I find that change can even be fun! Moving with change is the ultimate experiment.
Change = Experiment = Adventure
What is your relationship to change like right now? Does fear surface or is a sense of excitement and trust present when you reflect on cycles of change?
Invitation: Choose one change happening in your life right now. Imagine this change or transition is an adventure hand-picked for you to get you to an even more fabulous version of living. How does it feel to imagine this change is a stepping stone to get you where you want to go? Practice seeing changes as experiments and adventures.
Experiment! (Emerson dares you.)
Part of life, in or out of recovery, is being in the unknown. While moments of sublime clarity, those glorious “AHAs” happen, confusion and absolutely not having clear answers happens, too. Right? I don’t know about you, but I like to have confident clarity, to know the next step to take in any given situation. Clear direction brings with it a sense of security, of control, of well-being. I like all of these. When the road ahead is unclear, when I just don’t know what to do next, I often feel scared. Fear leads to more of the same. Thoughts grab on and panic sets in. No fun. I have gathered quite a collection in my tool box of techniques from time spent in the unknown. Many lessons have come from not knowing what to do, from being in the grasp of fear and from getting through it. Even when I feel afraid, when the confusion of how to move ahead is intense and overwhelming, I have found that it is possible to get centered and relax whether answers come right away or not! When I am unsure of how to “get it right” or “fix the problem” I am facing (whether real or imagined), here are a few of tools I use that might assist you, too.
· Breathe! Breath is one of life’s constants, always available to steer the tone of our day, perspective and experience. How often this tool is taken for granted, until something gets in its way! When I get anxious, my breath gets shallow and short if I don’t pay attention to it. Slowing down and taking deep, conscious breaths is a quick solution to feeling fear and anxiety. Notice how it feels to physically pause and breathe in and out through your nose. Your body gets the message that it is safe to relax when the breath comes in and out of the nose cavity rather than through the mouth. Fun fact, right? Go ahead, try it. Get present and breathe, you have more control than you might think.
· Say a little prayer. Asking for help frees us from the responsibility to know it all. It also paves the way for support to show up. No experience is necessary to pray with success. The invitation for assistance can be as simple as “Life, please help me. I am open to guidance and could really use some!” In fact, keeping it simple is often exactly what is needed for clarity to come. If you aren’t a fan of the concept of prayer, or God talk in general, reading a prayer or poem someone else has written works, too. Life has a way of taking care of the details. Prayer is an act of recognizing that there is something bigger than we are and the ultimate control to make things happen is not solely ours. Marianne Williamson says it well:
“Within the Mind of God, there is a blueprint for the perfect unfoldment of all things. All that is good becomes great and all that is dark becomes light. Divine Mind exists within us, it is not outside of us. We pray and meditate in order to align our personal minds with the Mind of God; we thus become conduits for the energy that when extended onto the earth, lifts all things to divine right order.”
Why not try it out? Go ahead, say a little prayer, open up and let some light in.
· Move your body. A racing mind and a stagnant body is not a good combination. When I catch myself on that mental hamster wheel, my focus has zeroed in on the mind, To shift this energy and regain some balance, I get my body moving and - voila - the rampant thoughts tend to calm down. It might take five minute, it might take forty five minutes but the wheel does slow eventually. Whether you are taking the dog for a neighborhood walk, hula hooping in your living room (one of my favorites), or joining a group class at a local gym, shifting from the mental environment to that of the physical is powerful stuff. Tension relief comes when the body moves. Goodbye tension, hello relaxation. In a relaxed state, we are able to align with life from a more desirable place.
· Check in with the basics. The acronym, HALT, is a staple in many recovery communities. It is a reminder to ask: are you hungry, angry, lonely or tired? Taking care of our foundational needs is important and so easy to gloss over in times of stress. Don’t know what to do next? Get plugged in with your needs and tend to them as they are recognized. Hungry? Grab a snack and some water. Angry? Journal your frustrations to get the pent up energy out. Lonely? Call someone from your clan, make a call to share appreciation for a friend, or strike up a conversation with a passerby in the store. We are all connected, sometimes we just forget. Tired? If you can, sit down for a few minutes and let your body and mind unwind. If you can’t take a snooze or even sit down at the moment, use that handy breath work to get centered where you are now.
· Imagine the possibilities. What if there was no confusion, problem, or issue? Seriously, what would you feel or do if the quandary simply didn’t exist? Step into the landscape of what you desire, problem-free. Using the power of thought can bring the peace, ease, harmony, solution, relaxation, and anything else you want to feel into this moment right now. The mind doesn’t know the difference between physical reality and imagination. Act as if everything if taken care of and see how it feels. Practice living in the feeling of the solution that is coming, because resolution is coming.
Even when the perfect next step to take isn’t clear, there are plenty of ways that you can move forward. Using the tools you do have in the moment will create space for more clarity to come in. When all else fails, just breathe and remember that this too shall pass.
Embracing the unknown and getting in the Flow,
This article is featured in Simple...Woman Online Magazine
"When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
This is good news.
In order to experience something differently, all I have to do is take a look from another angle. Can you say super power?!
When overwhelm, discomfort, anger, sadness, or jealousy strike (or any myriad feelings for that matter), I can step into a new feeling without lifting a finger.
Simple enough, right?
Simple, yes. Easy, not always.
In the midst of heightened emotion, stepping into a new perspective can seem impossible.
Just this week, I slept through my alarm clock. When I finally came to and saw the time, I rushed into the morning with anxiousness. Thrusting myself out of bed, I was well on my way to being in a bad mood. I was seeing red through my haphazard movements around my house, attempting to get out the door as quickly as possible. I was angry at myself for sleeping in and frustrated at the rush I was now in. On top of this, fear of being judged because I might be late for an appointment coursed through me. I was going to have an awful day, I just knew it. This outlook only fed the anger and frustration and frenzy.
Then, tapping my feet at the faucet that wasn’t running fast enough, I paused.
Remembering this quote from teacher and author Wayne Dyer, I stopped and took a breath. A deep one. Closing my eyes, I scanned my body and breathed into the places tight with tension. I went through the checklist to get a gauge on what was actually true it the moment. Yes, I slept in past the alarm clock. Yes, I had an appointment to get to. Would I be late? Maybe. Could I call and give the person a head’s up that I was on my way and might be just ten minutes behind schedule? Absolutely. Was the day doomed to be horrible? Only if I chose to stay in the negative outlook.
Simple shifts in perception calmed me from the inside out and I was able to engage the rest of my day with ease and balance. Taking responsibility for my outlook paid off, as it usually does. I chose to see the truth and squash the dramatics. I slowed down and got grounded. From here, I was able to cut through the negative cycle that had started and step into a more honest and positive perspective. Plus, I felt better!
To see the “positive” streaming through the “negative” takes practice.
Here are a few simple tricks to shift your outlook quickly. Try them out and see how your experience changes:
- Just breathe. Pausing for even one conscious, deep breath has the capacity to bring you back into the moment. When we are present, we are better able to meet what is in front of us with ease and clarity.
- Take a break. Sometimes we just need to take a few minutes away from whatever we are doing so that we can come back to it with renewed energy. Walking around the block does wonders for my bouts of writer’s block.
- Choose to see the gifts. Act as if whatever you are experiencing were happening to someone else. Open your eyes to the gift in perhaps not so pretty wrapping paper, more than likely there are a few.
- Be grateful. There is always something to be grateful for. Look for reasons to say “thank you” and your outlook with change quickly. Frustrated with a noisy neighbor? Look on the bright side: you have a roof over your head and the ability to hear! (Bonus: When we practice gratitude, more reasons to be grateful show up. Plus, it just feels good!)
Perception is everything. I’m sporting my rose-colored glasses today. How about you?
In the flow,
How important is it, anyway?
Evaluating my “need to do‘ list is always a challenge because I want everything completed right away. So, getting in a tizzy about my undone tasks happens. Regularly.
Is this true for you? Are you a high achiever? A closet perfectionist?
Anxiety rises, my breath gets shallow, my body holds tension, thoughts race, fears pop up to the surface and sometimes even harsh judgments take over.
You know the drill.
Not helpful. Right?!
Listening to my body helps me to regroup and when I am able to listen I can also ask: How important is this, anyway?
I wonder why the dramatics are so necessary when I have the capacity to take a bit more time and evaluate my priorities.
Getting clear about how important is it makes the process of prioritizing feel more fun and purposeful. With an easing of pressure I am able to find better solutions and actually enjoy my completions.
I love checking things off my list!
Let’s follow this one through:
Make a plan of action to shift this “need to do” into “done”. By answering these questions and looking more deeply at old patterns, you will have shifted a block.
Now you can more easily experience new movement.
In the flow, Darcy
As an advocate of Reinvention + Recovery, I work with clients to achieve balance, alignment and purpose in all areas