Living in the Light, Discarding Insecurity

Are you ready to live in your light?

Insecurities can be so familiar. Trapped in fear, doubt and uncertainty, the spiral of  insecurity can become a repeating cycle. Becoming a woman who is secure in herself, even with all the humanness that can be embarrassing, messy and unwanted, has been the journey of a lifetime. The initiation of becoming whole, of claiming all that I am, tuning into the strength of what created me and courses through me, this is the work of life.

Living in the light is what most people want and many are afraid of. Marianne Williamson said it well, "it is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us."

Why is this the case? 
Being powerful can threaten the people closest to you. Let's get real, it can threaten parts of yourself and who you have believed yourself to be! The need for acceptance and love might be jeopardized if you step into your inherent strengths and step into the next version of life calling you. Facing the darkness of self doubt and moving beyond playing small takes immense courage. Transforming insecurity leads to the lightness available in self acceptance and embodied greatness.

The tricky thing about insecurity is that they seem to keep you safe, when they are really just familiar. Those nagging doubts, the stories that replay about what you can do and what you can't based on your past, these are all forms of fear. Fear masks as insecurity, self doubt, lack of confidence and resistance to change. The truth us, insecurities are attempts to stay safe. They are not the enemy, fear is just operating on beliefs that are not fully accurate.

When insecurities can be seen from this perspective, the resistance softens and the fear can be used to your benefit. This is great news, right? You are not stuck just because there is fear living in you. In fact, fear is pushing you into more trust in yourself, in life and in what is possible. 

When fear is challenged, when doubt is met with compassionate curiosity, when insecurities are explored from a place of love, the important messages being conveyed can be seen, learned from and let go. 

I have experienced my fair share of self doubt. One of the reasons I talk about facing fear as much as I do is because I am doing it on a daily basis. Acknowledging what wants to stay hidden in the darkness, what seems unacceptable or unattractive, is where power lies. By exposing the insecurities and exploring the stories they are telling, accessing your strength becomes possible. Pretending fear isn't there doesn't serve anyone long term. Using affirmations and positivity to bypass facing fear and healing insecurity is tempting but not a long term fix. Debbie Ford, a great teacher and mentor, spoke on exposing insecurities and their purpose extensively. She said this in a workshop I attended fifteen years ago: "If you put ice cream (affirmations) on top of poop (insecurity), it might look pretty much it still stinks!"

This statement took me off guard. Hearing this pierced through my hope and fantasy that being positive would wash away what irked me under the surface. Learning to see and sit with insecurities makes healing them possible. Bringing compassion to places of fear and challenging the default to believe their stories is an ongoing practice. It is precisely this process that turns trauma into triumph, difficulty into victory, vulnerability into strength, darkness into light.

Are you ready to heal insecurity, embody confidence and own your personal power?
Give these tips a try:

• write a list of the insecurities living in you
  
• write another list of what else is true beyond these beliefs and fears
  
• ​next to every insecurity on the first list, write one gift that has come from this fear or doubt (think about the people you've met by needing help, the resources you've discovered, outlets or hobbies you've adopted, etc.)
  
• imagine that one of these insecurities is offering you something amazing, a gift or lesson... what is the light hidden in the darkness of this fear, fault or place of discomfort?​​​
  

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Once an insecurity is given space to be seen and acknowledged, soothed and honored, resistance lessens or stops completely. If what you resist persists, it is by accepting the insecurity that it can start to shift into something else or fall away. As counter intuitive this is to the mind, it actually works. Not immediately and eventually, absolutely!

Living in light doesn't mean there is no darkness, insecurity, fear or doubt. Embodying light means living fully, acknowledging the spectrum of what it means to be human, loving wholly and leading by example, however imperfect. It is by facing fears and sitting with discomfort that confidence grows. The more bravery and courage are practiced, the more they grow. If you want to live with more light and life, practice what infuses that into you! 

Give the tips above a try and be in touch with what you find. Reach out for support. Ask for help to uncover the insecurities in you and explore them until their gifts become visible. Claim the security always in you through acceptance, love and patience with your process. No one is light, bright and positive all the time. Those who live with more security and confidence have faced the dark and practiced celebrating their light. 

Wherever you are, whether insecurities are nagging at you or just mumbling below the surface, know you are perfectly human and precisely on time. I am here with you, celebrating the gifts tucked in the unlikeliest of places and holding you in light.

With Huge Heart,
Darcy Helene