Overcoming The Crab Bucket Effect

Have you noticed yourself in moments when you're on the grow & everything is okay, or even smooth sailing and you're feeling elated, when fear or doubt creep in? The notorious "when is the other shoe going to drop?" syndrome shows up big time. I have had moments like this popping up at the most inopportune times, probably because I am in major growth mode and challenging core beliefs that have threatened to hold me back for a long time. It seems that resistance comes when I'm on the verge of another breakthrough. Can you relate? ​

It's like the crab bucket effect - when one crab is about to get over the rim into a whole new world of freedom, the other crabs grab at it and pull it back into familiar territory.

We all have an inner crab bucket full of pesky claws waiting to keep us put instead of allowing, or even encouraging, us to grow into the next phase. How does the crab bucket effect get turned on its side? Surely this is not something that must be accepted as just the way it is.

I have done some research and experimented in my own life only to come up with some very simple solutions to this potential life sucking inner dynamic. When fear comes, in any of its forms (resistance, doubt, worry, assumption, delay, insecurity, skepticism, the list goes on) and attempts to keep me in my spot, when I am on the trajectory to live into another amazing version of life, here are a few steps to take in order to get over the lid and crawl on new ground:
    

1. Acknowledge the fear: what is the thought or belief underlying the resistance or worry?
2. Face the facts: what's really true here? Not what fear says is true, what’s actually happening. (Where are your feet?)
3. Honor your feelings: what is the main emotion present? What does it need from you in order to feel safe?
4. Seek support: call on a friend, coach, therapist or sponsor who you feel safe being completely open with; share what's going on and ask for feedback and an objective point of view.Self counseling when fear is front and center is not the most self loving or sane option.    
5. Breathe: take five long, slow, deep breaths in and out through the nose and mouth to re-stabilize your system. If you stop breathing at a steady rate, the sense of dread or panic will only grow.
6. Flip the script: rather than consulting the fear for guidance, ask a new set of questions:                                                                                                                              If I  weren't afraid, what would I think right now? What does faith and courage want me to do right now? When I choose to feel __________, instead of _________, this _________ becomes  possible.  
7. Make a new agreement: being in new territory means making new commitments to yourself. Since fear is showing up, you're likely treading uncharted territory. If you stick to old agreements in new experiences, you will relive what's already been. To have something different and be someone different you must incorporate something different! What will you commit to thinking, believing, choosing, doing and living in this phase of your journey?         I will share honestly, openly and transparently about my experience with___________. When fearful thoughts come and I want to quit instead of pursuing my dreams, I will______________. I commit to treat myself__________.
8.  Remember the basics: are you hungry? Eat something fresh and don't forget the protein. Are you hydrated? Carry that h20 with you. Is there a need for a rest or at least slowing down momentarily to breathe? Is your body exercised? Take a walk or get to the gym for a quick movement sesh. Does your heart need some tending to? Call a friend, FaceTime your partner, text a mentor or write a letter to someone who reminds you what courageous living and loving on purpose is.​

Fear need not win and keep you in previous chapters of your life story. Unless you challenge it, boldly and lovingly, you will likely live a Groundhog Day existence, in at least one area of your life. The crab bucket effect is real, just because it has had its way in the past doesn't have to dictate your present and future course. Defy the odds and climb into the next version of yourself. Who could you become if you refused to succumb to resistance just because of a little discomfort? What dreams and real magic exists in the life of that version of yourself - the courageous, bold, won't quit, growth oriented, committed to regret-free existence? Choose that! Believe me - it is so worth it, and so are you.

With huge love & a nudge out of the bucket,
Darcy