Love: it’s what makes the world go round, it can fascinate and frustrate. A basic human need is for love, giving it and receiving it. While “love is all we need,” according to the Beatles, sharing this state of being and the actions that show it are not always the easiest.
What is your relationship to this thing called Love?
Have you ever wanted so badly to be loved, accepted, connected yet could not get yourself to trust it when and how it came? Have you ever done just the opposite of what you hoped would bring you the love you so desired? Is your perspective on love simple or complex? When given the chance, do you choose love?
Love is a choice, love is a commitment, love is a state of mind and an action. Love requires trusting uncertainty and giving without any guarantee of receiving back what you hope for. I have learned more about love recently, in ways that have baffled me and been life and health changing. What it comes down to is this: love can be created in every moment, whether you are alone or not. In order to receive we have got to give, which can be vulnerable and seem risky. What if love comes then it goes? Will the loss be too much to handle? Loving is worth it even when loss follows, which it will in this world that brings change all the time. Love defies odds, though, time and space too.
Like the popular question begs, “what would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?” - what would you choose if you knew you would be safe and loved? Keeping love at a distance usually comes when there is focus on the future, anxiety about losing later, uncertainty about being accepted…
Coming back to this moment, right here right now, the choice is actually simple: Will you love? Will you look in the mirror and smile at who you see? Is offering the people you pass a smile and gesture of kindness possible? If now is what you have, how can you enhance your capacity to love and therefore live more fully?
There is a time and place for tough love. You know, the kind of encouragement that comes with some grit and gruffness. The attempt to push past what's been holding you back. The "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" talk. I have and continue to see the benefit in this type of love in its tough exterior. When boundaries need to be set and held, when you've reached the enough is enough place, when the cuddling compassion has turned to coddling. Like I said, there is a time and place for more direct, less soft support.
I have recently learned that tough love, even when used with the best of intentions, can cause more harm than help. Sometimes Tough Love just isn't Love.
My Dad died just over three months ago. He dealt with depression for a long time and eventually succumbed to it by taking his own life. I saw him strive to be better, do better, rise from his difficulties. A lot of the time, this came in the form of judgment and harshness rather than compassion and comforting his wounded parts. I saw him try to just "suck it up" and surpass the struggles that kept him hostage for the majority of his life. To be frank, there were times I met him with the same type of tough love he brought to himself. Sometimes it helped, more of the time I think it just added to the hurt. What he needed was understanding and acceptance and patience.
Getting fed up with the status quo can definitely lead to being more harsh. I am catching myself in this more than ever these days. It seems that grief is bringing me front and center with my own wounds, the harsh places in me that say "just figure this out already." In times where harsh comes more quickly than compassion, this is the time I probably need it the most.
Do you relate?
My sister recently reminded me that there are seasons to push and seasons to let what is be. Right now, as much as I want to be somewhere other than here, feeling what I'm feeling, facing what I'm facing, right here is where I am. Pushing through and judging what's happening is causing pain, something I don't need any more of. The idea that just sucking it up and powering through would make anything better is an illusion. This idea, this hope and fantasy that affirming my way out of incredible grief and disillusionment is possible or would make me more safe, secure, comfortable, is pervasive in our society. The truth is, my job right now is to just be. Staying afloat is enough. What I am, what I have, what I bring is enough. For now. In all reality, just being is preparing the path for what's next... even if I can't see it.
This isn't to say I am okay with staying where I am. Not at all. Fighting doesn't yield results though. Acceptance, understanding, and starting fresh again and again does. Before getting back up, it might just be warranted to stay down and rest for a bit. Navigating grief, feeling sadness, needing more quiet, these are asking to be honored. For now.
Drowning in depression is a fear I have, especially with the turn of events that happened with my Dad. The truth is, I have resources and am using them. I have tools he didn't have. I am not him. Toughing it out and trying to bypass this process of initiation, growing up, grieving is an act of dishonor to myself and him. Feeling is important. Whether I like it or not, I am right where I need to be. In the midst of all this, I also have responsibilities and commitments that require me to show up. Life doesn't stop because someone died. In fact, more has happened in the past three months than I could have anticipated.
I have to show up. I get to show up. Maybe not 100%, maybe not with the enthusiasm I'd like to, maybe with inner judgment that's annoying and distracting; even still, I show up. Just as I am. No force or harshness needed. Things are tough enough without adding more.
I wish things were different. I wish my Dad was still here. I wish I could tap into hope and passion in ways I have before. As much as I've tried, it turns out tough loving my way into a new mindset or place isn't working. Compassion is. The thing that is hardest to muster right now is exactly what I need.
Where is in your life are you bringing impatience rather than understanding?
Is tough love taking the driver seat when something else might really help you more?
What would it take for you to give up the push to do more, be different, the drive to change what is?
When in doubt, choose love. Love is the way. Sometimes gentle, sometimes subtle, sometimes bolder, sometimes playful. Tuning into what the most tender parts of you need will guide you, all you have to do is listen and look. If you need support, there is plenty of it here in the Reinvention & Recovery Community and with me. Reach out, you are never alone.
With Huge Heart & Hope,
Most everyone I meet wants one thing: to be happy. Whether that is defined as having a certain house, partner or profession, the drive for happiness is common among most (or dare I say all) humans. Whether the path to happiness is clear to you yet or not, one sure way to move toward this blissfully satisfied state is hope. Hope is defined as the feeling that what is wanted can be had or thatevents will turn out for the best. It is a thing and an action, when brought into the present moment can have a major impact on your attitude, perspective and life.
Positive psychology has done a slew of research on hope and how it influences personal levels of happiness. The belief that you can reach your goals, what will bring you happiness, leads you to the means of getting there. Without hope, a sense of inner motivation and drive, the way to move ahead will not be visible. In simpler terms, if you don't have hope, you probably won't have happiness. One feeds the other.
Hope can be tough to muster, especially when life has brought one challenge after the next. Like anything else though, hope can be learned and grown through practice and attention. If you want more happiness, start focusing on building your hope reserves. Here are a few ways to get started:
There is always, always, always hope. Even when it is blind. Even when it is running on low ebb. Even when... life happens. Commit to trying these steps above for 2-4 weeks and let me know how your hope and happiness grow.
Need more help turning your hope into happiness? Contact me here.
I believe in you & the happiness coming,
NEWS FLASH: Self compassion isn't selfish.
Quite the contrary... The ultimate gift we give others isn't wrapped in a bow, it's self compassion.
I won't deny it: giving is beautiful and feels great. But when the relationship you have with yourself is full of judgment, resentment, harsh criticisms or restriction, giving freely simply isn't possible. The Law of Attraction says you attract what you are and wise people have told me You just can't give something you haven't got.
Have you ever offered someone close to you a lending ear, only to later resent them for not listening to you the same way? Does it ever cross your mind that "they're stupid" or "I can't believe they are moving so slow!" even for a brief moment? What we believe in our deepest parts come out in the ways we interact with or think about other people.
The truth is, we are all judgmental and we are all imperfect. By seeing that everyone around you is doing the best they can, it gives you permission to see that you, too, are doing the best you can. By practicing self compassion, from the inside out you become more equipped with a gentle, patient and understanding perspective. Seeing yourself with softer eyes makes it come more easily to see the world you live in the same way.
This compassionate stance doesn't mean accepting unacceptable behavior, nor does it mean that you stop seeking to grow and become your best self. Through self compassion, which is a practice not a destination, the ripple effect of love is immeasurable.
Have you ever heard the saying, honey attracts more than vinegar? Try it out.
Start with just twenty seconds of kind self talk. For example, set a timer and say to yourself "I know you're doing the best you can and I will stay by your side, no matter what. It's okay to be human and scared, angry, unsure (or fill in the blank with something you don't necessarily like experiencing)." Repeat this twice a day, once in the morning and once in the afternoon or evening for 3 days, then take note of how you're feeling overall. What do you notice about your closest relationships? Is anything coming more easily?
Loving others is an adventure of a lifetime. Loving yourself is a once in a lifetime, something you get to reinvent everyday if you choose.
Loving myself is not always easy. What drives me to practice self compassion in simple ways on a daily basis is other people and the dreams I have that require me showing up in striking ways. In order to be strong, I have to be soft. In order to be successful, I have to be safe. All of the things I want require me to give a lot to the world, which means I need to have an inner wellspring to draw upon. I don't have to love myself all the time in order to be kind to myself, and neither do you. Use other people to motivate you until you become your own motivation. It comes, in time; loving myself has been the result of a lot of practice and inner exploring, tough lessons and truth telling.
Self compassion might be tough in the beginning, but it won't be forever. I promise.
Most of us want more: money, love, acceptance, success, notoriety, friends, clients...
If you want more, start giving more, starting with yourself.
You'll be surprised at how life delivers when you prioritize yourself in ways that matter. Believe me, or prove me wrong (smile).
With Huge Heart,
Eating is imperative. No one gets away with no food for long. This is just how it is, right? Pretty common sense, yet as someone in recovery from anorexia, learning to live with food is not easy. My relationship with food is complicated because of how this insidious illness shows up. Fear of being full, how food will be digested and weight will be dispersed is the part of anorexia that can take all joy away from meals. Recovery from this disorder is ongoing and never ending.
Learning to embrace food, what makes living possible, is multi layered. With or without an eating disorder, food is about so much more than food. It's not just about eating more, finding "the right diet" or the scale going up or down. It's about shifting what food means, what eating represents and what becomes possible when food is embraced. I won't get into all of that here, partly because recovery from an eating disorder is unique to every individual, just as preferences and needs are individual for all of us. What I will say is this: whether you identify with having a complicated relationship with your body and food or not, it is possible to create a new way. Right now.
Core values are the things that really matter, what motivates you to keep moving forward, maybe providing an incentive to step into challenge or change. Connection is one of mine. Turning the tables (pun intended) on my food intake and choices has been a process, ebbing and flowing throughout the years since my recovery first began. Making peace my with my plate comes one meal at a time, even with significant recovery and freedom from what used to plague me. 2017 marked a significant return to freedom around food for me. This last shift really started happening when meals became a time to connect with others. Stepping into treatment to get a relapse under control, I completely changed up what had become normal for meal time. Sitting down at a table and talking, no technology around, being present with the uncomfortable or delightful, is what meals can be. Rather than a rushed, on the go scarf fest or isolated, over analyzed event, meals and snacks revolved around something more than food. Talking, sharing, listening, learning, playing, laughing, letting it all be.
Linking health and well being with core values makes it more likely to bring in new habits, patterns and ways. Perhaps there is an area of your life where you'd like to have new patterns enter in. Do you wish your relationship with food and body image were different? What about the interactions you have with family or friends? Whatever the areas is, in order to make meaningful changes that stick, identifying your core values is key. I had lost touch with what really mattered to me in the grief and stress of last year (these are two factors that I now see greatly led to the relapse). Reuniting with my values created a strong foundation on which I am now standing. A little time, attention, permission and a lot of support got me to remember what matters, for me. Connection, with others and myself, motivate me to keep moving in new directions and choosing health above all else. This matters more to me than feeling in control by defaulting to what is familiar (aka, the patterns that seem safe because they have been used so many times before).
My plate is plentiful. My life is full. And I am more than okay with this, because I am connected to myself and people around me who will remind me what matters when I get side tracked.
Do you know what matters most to you?
(How) are core values helping you live with intention and wholeness?
Reach out to me for support & schedule your free strategy call to get clear in new ways. I am here for & with you.
With so much love,
I think everyone wants to inspire others, to be a force for good, to spread love, to help the world flow more smoothly and joyously. I know I have been pulled out of rough times, dragged forward, called higher, by the energy that inspiration is. I want to inspire others to be who they are called to be, to live fully.
While this is a noble intention, it hasn't been possible for me to consistently be a force for good in the ways I've wanted to much of my life. There has been a piece missing. That piece is self love. Addiction has riddled my mind and body since early adolescence, going into remission and being tended to more of the time than not, since the time I was thirteen. Addiction is rooted in self hate, a denial of self worth and false beliefs about what is possible. Fear is one of the biggest pieces in my relationship with addiction; even when in remission, fear can creep in, linger and taunt. Where Fear lives, inspiration and hope are harder to come by or keep for long.
What I have found, through rough and tumble moments and years, is this: learning to be inspired by my own life and self helps me heal. When I am in health, choosing to heal and claim my wholeness (even when I have areas to grow in still), I can inspire others. I recently went through a relapse of anorexia. It has been a surreal experience to revisit what I thought I had long ago buried. To let others support me in ways I wish I didn't need, to simplify everything and move much more slowly has pulled on painful strings. I am reinventing myself, yet again, and re-rooting my foundation. Self love is one of my great lessons right now; I am seeing, feeling, defining what it means to love myself and be inspired everyday. I could not do this alone... even though sometimes I feel I am. Through dark times come light.
If I hadn't fallen into relapse, completely unintentionally, and fallen into surrender, I would not have been re-inspired like I have. I met Ipek, one of the more courageous people I have yet to meet, last Fall. With so much love in her, she dared to share a dream with me that had been stifled for who knows how long. She, too, is compelled to live inspired and open others up to their own light. Project (i)inspire was formed, in writing, over a sunlit afternoon conversation in a cozy room with a laptop and two healing hearts. Since then, I have been carefully looking for ways to tap back into my own light so that others can more easily see their own when in my company. Ipek has helped me do this, to remember who I am when I had forgotten.
Like Reinvention & Recovery, Project (i)inspire is born from love and a dream. The fog of depression and addiction, grief and loss, change and growth, is real. This is what life is. Ebbs and flows, learning curves and creating. Ipek has created a platform where all of us can re-claim our own light and show others how they have inspired us; a small gesture of love can and does save lives. am privileged to be a pioneer in Project (i)inspire, with Ipek and what is quickly becoming hundreds of others aroun the world.
Are you curious about what it means to be (i)nspired from the inside out? Click here to find out more and join the community now. There is a place for you, to be exactly where you are, and be guided toward new light. For a free strategy coaching call with me, click here. I am human, beautifully in process, and here for and with you. As a coach and creative, I know what it means to dive deep and soar high. Reach out for support!
"See you" soon & sending so much love,
We all have times when it seems someone, or no one, is appreciating our efforts to improve their life. This happens, we are all human and are on the giving or receiving end of un- or under- appreciation. Simply put, it is deflating and insecurity provoking to be showing up and feel slighted by those we love or seek approval and affection from. Your brain might be telling you that you're not doing enough, something is wrong, this person or people don't like or love you anymore... most likely, none of these things are true. Most likely, what you want is warranted and just because you're not getting it how you want it doesn't mean anything more than that.
As a person committed to personal accountability and self love, I have caught myself in a place of feeling less loved than I'd like because some of the people around me just don't have much affection or words of appreciation to give right now. This simply means, I get to (yes, get to) show up for myself even more. No one can give me something I'm unwilling to give myself, or if they are I have to be able to receive from myself before I can fully receive from them. It's a catch 22, isn't it? So much of this life is. What I know for sure is that there is a quick fix to feeling un- or under- appreciated that will flip the script on what your head might be telling you. Nothing is wrong with you and nothing is wrong with them. Yes, you might want some things to change. Cool, let's start with changing you and the rest will follow.
If you're feeling like I have been, here are a few quick tips for switching into appreciation mode and beaming gratitude & acceptance above anything else.
1. Jot down three things you appreciate about how you are showing up. Maybe you write what you want someone else to take note of. Perhaps something else shows up. (For example, do you appreciate that you are willing to show up with yourself even though you feel angry, sad or lonely?)
2. Give someone else a shout out. That's right! Call, text or heck, go visit someone and tell them why you appreciate them. Maybe the person you want some love from is just the one who needs you to give them some praise. When you give freely you just might be surprised how life gives back to you.
3. Invite Love in. I did this years ago during a time I felt particularly lonely. Not only did I get myself out of the routine of pessimism and martyrdom, I was so delighted at how love showed up through streams I could not have imagined. I woke up and said "okay Life, I'm ready for Love to come in." That day, and many since then, I have done this and met new people who have impacted my perspective in important ways, been introduced to literature that has had a beautiful ripple effect on my creative life, met someone I was able to help and brighten their day, saw a detail of nature that reminded me all is well, the list goes on. When you are sincerely ready to receive, what you need will find you.
If none of these do the trick, start from the top and try again. It takes practice to change habits and you might just be in the habit of blaming rather than claiming. Ig you are, don't worry. A change is just around the corner as long as you're ready for it and willing to let go of what's weighing you down. This in itself is a huge gesture of self-appreciation, and heck, what's really better than that?
Need some help getting new routines like this to stick? Contact me for personal coaching and a free strategy call now.
With huge heart,
Staying optimistic can be tough. Taking an optimistic and positive view also creates more stability and possibility in a time where things might seem fragile and frustrating. Tapping into your optimism and taking full advantage of your resources can be simple. Here's how:
1. Look beyond the moment, take the long view.
Worry can be daunting. The moment to moment to do’s can be overwhelming and distracting. Yes, what you do now matters. Every moment counts. This being said, the troubling times of right now are not permanent. Take the long view, think about how much has been overcome and surmounted up until now. Pregnancy is a great example of taking the long view: 9-10 months of potential discomfort, uncertainty, new requirements and responsibility, all lead to new life, new possibility, new family.
Consider all you have gone through & grown through. Think about how potentially amazing the future can be and consider how this difficult experience you are going through (or those of the recent past) might just be preparing you for the success and satisfaction ahead. Like Stephen Colbert recently reminded, “Every bit of darkness is only for now. The light always wins.”
2. Laugh with fear.
Make progress and overcome the analysis paralysis by laughing at the unknown, your uncertainty, and the irony of life. Laughing can be so cathartic. Even when you are scared, don’t dismiss the fear but don’t take it as the whole truth either. Humor can be a way to avoid facing things that are unsettling, yet for most it is an under-utilized tool. Laughing sparks the “feel good” hormones in the body and brain, which lead to more optimism and happiness. Who couldn’t use some more of this?
Taking things super seriously is an vicious cycle that strips away all joy. A little laughter can go a long way.
3. Trust your ability to change.
Whether making new choices to get different results or seeing through a different lens, you have incredible power in you. Change comes with being alive, choosing how you change is a real life super power. What’s done is done but your ability to respond to what’s happened is still in your control. Every day, you are becoming… either you are changing in empowering ways or continuing unconscious patterns. Wake up, trust yourself, choose how you want to live and change, grow, evolve. How beautiful can it get? It’s up to you, you change agent, you.
4. Team up with your people.
We become who we spend the most time with. If you want to be more positive, optimistic and upbeat, surround yourself with people who embody these traits. It's tough, if not impossible, to change and evolve if you're being held down or back by old, outdated energy. For example, if you make a commitment to exercise daily while most of your friends prioritize drinking and Netflix, more than likely you will revert to what they do, and there goes your commitment follow through. On the other hand, if you team up with or befriend energetic and enthusiastic nature lovers, it's probable you will start hiking, rock climbing or even ocean swimming before you know it.
The same is true if you want to see the world through the eyes of gratitude and positivity. Being around those who constantly gossip or complain will make it difficult to stay upbeat. Who is someone who radiates positivity and brings out the best in you? Give them a call and set up a date.
Set yourself up for success and satisfaction. Surround yourself with people who have what you want, value what you do and even further along the path you are starting. Mentors, coaches, masterminds, group classes and support groups can be incredible resources and accountability in getting you to where you want to go.
With optimism comes more to be optimistic about. Perspective is everything! In this moment, maximizing what's here leads to new awareness and possibility. Start simply. Start small.
What is one thing you can do today to increase your optimism and make the most of where you are?
Dreaming can be seen as indulgent, unimportant, even counterintuitive. Not only have I been judged by others for having a curious mind and vibrant imagination at times, I have also judged myself. Harshly. In a world that praises logical, linear, productivity above most else, dreaming and giving valuable time toward the "unreasonable, unrealistic, creative fodder" is a target for labels like avoidant, silly or even stupid. Surely, this is not how all people view (day)dreaming and creative play, though it seems to be commonplace. As I have noticed the judgments around creativity, I have been asking new questions. These have sparked new discoveries, revealing the reason behind my own daydreaming nature and how it can serve everyone to dream a little bit more.
Why do I dream?
Why does it matter?
Why should you dream, too?
Wired for anxiety, or at least living with it for much of my life, dreaming and accessing the nonlinear, creative side of my self has saved me from sometimes debilitating worry. Without this outlet, the ability to redirect energy from anxiety into curiosity, I have plummeted into depression and ill health. Through creativity I have accessed my wholeness. This has been a journey, both of courage and experimentation. I denied the dreamer in me through my loyalty to producing, having something to show for myself... all to no avail because the To Dos are never ending. Dreaming must be prioritized to be profited from.
Dreaming is not living in a fantasy world where the daily tasks are ignored, nor is it denying the hurts or difficulties of our current world. Dreaming is a doorway into a grander perspective, a language beyond words, a world of possibilities that aren't yet tangible. Dreaming connects us to our spirit, bringing us from the world of mental into that beyond thinking. When we dream we tap into what is possible and a path is paved to bring us there.
Have you ever made a bold wish only to find "coincidences" or synchronciities all around you that made the desire, the one that seemed outlandish, come to pass? This is the reality of dreaming. Until we dream it, it cannot be. Everything in this world is the result of somebody's courageous dream.
Think about it, every invention and creation and staple of society was once a thought someone called unrealistic.
Dreaming is a creative act. This can come in many forms, whether writing, drawing, wandering through a book store, collaging, cooking or gardening. This act of creativity includes seeing from multiple perspectives instead of just one, considering another's perception and seeing how it might apply to your own experience.
Dreaming + Creating = Visioning.
Without dreams, without curiosity, without creative questions, change cannot be accessed consciously. Dreams bring us to new heights, guide us in overcoming our hurdles with a sense of purpose and meaning.
I dream to escape the habits that I spent many years forming, those of worry and fear driven thinking and action. I dream because it connects me to something greater than myself, to spirit and life that cannot be predicted. I dream because I know there is something beyond what my eyes can reach that will be powerful and pioneering. I dream because I want to grow, because I am driven to become greater, to increase my capacity and make an impact on the world around me. I dream because it's fun, because it rattles me out of my ruts and into my essence. I dream because defying the odds is more worthwhile than succumbing to fear and being mediocre. I dream because I'm human and want to know what superhuman feels like, even if just for brief moments. I dream because there's magic in mystery, in tapping into the pool of unknown, grand, mystical, awe inspiring ideas that my mind can't wrap itself around. I dream because it challenges me, inspires me, pulls me forward.
Why do you dream?
Whether you are running from a nightmare or running toward a dream, expand your edges. Allow the creative to sweep you up, to guide you, to comfort you, to smooth your edges, to soften your fears, to lift you into a new perspective, to delight you and irk you and anything else it will do with you.
DREAM. Dream yourself into the vision you have for your life, for the world, for what's possible, for what could be, for what could no longer bind you...
What do you dream of?
If you don't know how to dream, click here to be in touch with me for a few ideas on how to stir the creative in you. It can be simple. It can be scary. It can be sweet. What I know for sure is that you are designed to dream & if you can dream it it can be.
"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one..."
With Huge Heart,
Need help turning your dreams into real life? Contact me for coaching.
They don't answer your phone call. Text messages go unanswered. You hit stand still traffic on your way to an important meeting. The person in front of you at the store gives you a funny look that you swear is a quiet, condescending judgment. Does your mind have a fear-fueled field day or do you keep your equilibrium?
If we are honest, many of us will admit that things like this turn us into anything but peaceful. We assume we are being rejected, neglected, judged or something else we really don't want to be true. These beliefs, the automatic reaction that things are going wrong or what we fear is about to crash into us, are one of the ways we give others the power over us. Peace is priceless, yet how many give it away with thought patterns and belief systems?
Are you selling your peace to the lowest bidder or giving it away for free?
It's time to take your most precious asset off the market! Are you ready to reclaim your power of perspective?
The next time you notice yourself in a spiral of fear, assuming the worst or taking something personally, pause and ask "is my peace worth more than I'm selling it for?" Maybe your thoughts are right. Maybe they're not. You can either choose to suffer now and hurt later or prepare yourself for a peaceful passage into what's on it's way. Why dress rehearse tragedy when you can anticipate greatness before it is even visible?They don't come home when planned. Your text messages are left unanswered. Stand still traffic strikes when you're running late for a meeting. The person in front of you gives you a look. Does your peace go out the window in a flash?
Life happens and opportunities to sell our peace present themselves all day long. In every moment, there is an option to go into panic, feed fear or believe in disempowering predictions. This turns a simple experience into a melodrama, leaving us to suffer in the meantime.
Every experience can be seen from multiple perspectives.
The view we choose determines whether we will feel peaceful or bat shit you know what. You might be accustomed to going into negativity zone, what some of my clients have heard me term "so called realistic pessimism." While the truth is they might be ignoring you, something unpredictable could have happened, you might be late for a meeting and the person in front of you at the store might think you look awful. Maybe. Then again, maybe not. Your friend's phone could be turned off or they fell asleep before returning your call, the traffic keeps you from getting in an accident and the person you pass is actually admiring you but they don't have a smile on their face so you can't tell. Which of these realities would you prefer to believe?
Either way, you won't know all the facts. You can choose to keep your peace and even feed your positivity bank account regardless of the circumstances. I have had plenty of experience believing disempowering predictions. You've heard "what you think, you become" right? If thought life creates emotional experience, then how peaceful you feel is up to you for the most part.
I have spent much of my life selling my peace to others, much of the time without them even knowing it. Sean Stephenson speaks about the power of perspective in his TED Talk (watch it here). This man inspired me to take my peace off the market and fuel empowering predictions, even when thoughts tempted me down the tracks of "what if..." fear zone. Either the mind can be a prison that confines us or a launching pad that springs us into significant and successful living.
The truth is, what we fear might happen. We might get disappointed. Someone we love might get hurt or hurt me. We will be late for meetings and have disapproval from many. The truth is also that amazing things might happen. In order to keep the peace and feel happy, safe and receptive to the goodness of life, we have to believe empowering predictions. Some might say "you're unrealistic." Okay, maybe. Then again, maybe not. What if believing the best is happening actually makes the best happen? We can imagine the "worst case scenario" in a hot second. Beginning to believe in those empowering predictions, what we desire, the incredible miracles that could be around every corner, turns panic into peace. Which would you rather live with?
Why live in panic when there is so much to savor? Life is going to keep happening. Claiming your perspective and living with peace is completely within your control. Doesn't it feel more empowering, comfortable and worthwhile to think about how loved you are instead of focusing on the grump who stared you down in the store?
Learning to protect your peace and turn your mind in a positive direction takes time, consistency and coaching. Have you been selling your precious serenity for pennies or even giving it away to people who don't even want it? It's time to take your peace off the market and enjoy playing with "what's the best that could happen" game.
Need some specific tips on how to take your peace off the market once and for all? Contact me now for a free strategy call.
You Go You,
Reinvention & Recovery Coaching: Aligned Life & Sustained Success
As an advocate of Reinvention + Recovery, I work with clients to achieve balance, alignment and purpose in all areas