transform the challenger into an ally

We are all being called to face something, grow in one area or another (or a few all at once). As uncomfortable  aggravating, frightening, or unfamiliar as your current state of mind or life might be, what is currently a challenge might also be the opportunity for your next breakthrough. If you knew how would you use what's challenging you to grow and thrive? Turning the challenger into an ally is not necessarily easy, yet is it very simple. 

Here's my most current challenger: Impatience. I want to have answers now that I simply don't have. The reality is, it's not time to know or do certain things or I would have already. Attempting to force what isn't ready has been causing challenge and difficulty, provoking fear where faith would carry me through just fine. Getting more and more uncomfortable, I had a moment of recognition: I can use this impatience to my benefit whenever I choose. It's up to me. I was trying to force impatience out of my mind and being, which didn't work whatsoever. I didn't like impatience when the reality is I haven't taken the time to understand it's perspective. What I resist persists, the saying is as accurate as ever. Resistance is a sign that acceptance is needed. Tolerating, accepting and befriending what I am resisting in myself leads to breakthroughs. So, I leaned in, as uncomfortable as it can be, to get to know this thing, this feeling, this perception, I had been telling to kick rocks. Becoming willing to sit with impatience revealed something else entirely. I am befriending patience and reaping great benefit.

This is not to say I am turning the hands of time and getting answers as immediately as I want them. It turns out that isn't the point, freedom is. I am sitting with impatience (and the fear that lives underneath it), growing and learning how to be okay with uncertainty and even enjoy the exhilaration of it. What I have done is turn the challenger of impatience into an ally of patience, trust, perseverance. Do you want to feel more peaceful with what is? I don't know who doesn't want more allies in their corner, I sure do. 

Engaging a process I have honed over time, one I lead clients in regularly, I retrieved the gifts hidden in my current experience. Impatience transformed into fortitude and faith with just a few minutes of attention and inquiry. The difference in energy is stuff of breakthroughs! Give yourself the gift of a shift in perspective & transform that challenge into a launching pad. Below is part of the process I use and guide clients through to shift from victim mode and stuckness into brilliant choice maker in the flow. Give them a try and see your inner tribe of confidantes grow.

• Identify what is challenging you. Look to your emotions & you'll likely find something. 
• Imagine this challenging situation or feeling as a distinct entity, a person or figure capable of having a conversation. Give this aspect of yourself a form either through your imagination, creating a drawing, collage, or both.
• Get out a sheet of paper and write out all the questions you have for this challenger. 
  • Some examples of questions I recommend including: ​Why are you here? What are you trying to show me? How can I get you to help me out instead of stress me out? What do you need from me? What action do I need to take to turn you into an ally instead of a challenger? One thing I can do today to use challenge to my benefit is... If you saw that I was here to help you, my lesson and offering would be...
• Once you have jotted down any questions you have, pause and breathe. Set a timer for five minutes and step away from the questions, get up and grab a snack, go wash the dishes, sit in silence, do something else. 
• After five minutes, return to the questions, look at or imagine the image of this challenger (impatience, fear, irritation, procrastination, whoever you discovered) and answer the questions from their perspective. Note: this might not make sense to you. Just write. The logical brain will try to steer you away from writing intuitively, let yourself express whatever comes. It might feel uncomfortable, go for it! This is where magic happens.
• Write until you stop, then pause and breathe. Read over what was written and make note of anything surprising or insightful. Circle, highlight, make notes on your notes. Engage the material (this is how active learning occurs). 
• Post your questions and answers somewhere you will see them at least three times per day.
• Rename your challenger. When the challenge becomes an opportunity, what does their name become? (Impatience became fortitude and faith when I got to the heart of the matter & chose to turn the challenger into an ally.)
• Reach out to me & let me know what you discovered. Share your insights with someone who will remind you of your power to choose freedom and growth & remain available to hold you accountable. 

Use these tips and techniques to turn any inner conflict into collaboration, difficulty into acceptance, challenger into ally. For extra support and to go deeper in this transformative process, be in touch with me now!

Nothing is stopping you even if it feels like you're not quite on track. Turn difficulties into stepping stones through that powerful perspective of yours! Befriend your challengers and watch them become allies.

You've got this,
Darcy