We all have times when it seems someone, or no one, is appreciating our efforts to improve their life. This happens, we are all human and are on the giving or receiving end of un- or under- appreciation. Simply put, it is deflating and insecurity provoking to be showing up and feel slighted by those we love or seek approval and affection from. Your brain might be telling you that you're not doing enough, something is wrong, this person or people don't like or love you anymore... most likely, none of these things are true. Most likely, what you want is warranted and just because you're not getting it how you want it doesn't mean anything more than that.
As a person committed to personal accountability and self love, I have caught myself in a place of feeling less loved than I'd like because some of the people around me just don't have much affection or words of appreciation to give right now. This simply means, I get to (yes, get to) show up for myself even more. No one can give me something I'm unwilling to give myself, or if they are I have to be able to receive from myself before I can fully receive from them. It's a catch 22, isn't it? So much of this life is. What I know for sure is that there is a quick fix to feeling un- or under- appreciated that will flip the script on what your head might be telling you. Nothing is wrong with you and nothing is wrong with them. Yes, you might want some things to change. Cool, let's start with changing you and the rest will follow.
If you're feeling like I have been, here are a few quick tips for switching into appreciation mode and beaming gratitude & acceptance above anything else.
1. Jot down three things you appreciate about how you are showing up. Maybe you write what you want someone else to take note of. Perhaps something else shows up. (For example, do you appreciate that you are willing to show up with yourself even though you feel angry, sad or lonely?)
2. Give someone else a shout out. That's right! Call, text or heck, go visit someone and tell them why you appreciate them. Maybe the person you want some love from is just the one who needs you to give them some praise. When you give freely you just might be surprised how life gives back to you.
3. Invite Love in. I did this years ago during a time I felt particularly lonely. Not only did I get myself out of the routine of pessimism and martyrdom, I was so delighted at how love showed up through streams I could not have imagined. I woke up and said "okay Life, I'm ready for Love to come in." That day, and many since then, I have done this and met new people who have impacted my perspective in important ways, been introduced to literature that has had a beautiful ripple effect on my creative life, met someone I was able to help and brighten their day, saw a detail of nature that reminded me all is well, the list goes on. When you are sincerely ready to receive, what you need will find you.
If none of these do the trick, start from the top and try again. It takes practice to change habits and you might just be in the habit of blaming rather than claiming. Ig you are, don't worry. A change is just around the corner as long as you're ready for it and willing to let go of what's weighing you down. This in itself is a huge gesture of self-appreciation, and heck, what's really better than that?
Need some help getting new routines like this to stick? Contact me for personal coaching and a free strategy call now.
With huge heart,
Darcy Helene Meehan
As an advocate of Reinvention + Recovery, I work with clients to achieve balance, alignment and purpose in all areas